If you have an extra hour or so...

I highly recommend watching this! I heard about this documentary in 'Bark' magazine, but then forgot about it until I stumbled across it on the internet. It is quite an eye-opening look at the world of purebred dogs and some of the sobering health issues arising due to inbreeding and the irresponsibility/greed of some breeders and owners.

I'm not trying to be an extremist by sharing this video. Most of you know I own a mixed breed and he is the greatest dog ever. But, this is not to say that I dislike purebred dogs, think they are all unhealthy, or think that no one should own one. However, it is the responsibility of all dog owners or potential owners to do their homework before getting a dog of any kind. Furthermore, it is the responsibility of breeders to bring dogs into this world only for the bettering of the breed - not to cut a profit, to selfishly build up their ego, or produce dogs focusing strictly on appearance. What matters most is that a dog, whether purebred or mixed breed, fits well with its owner and lives a long, full life. And as a dog owner, trainer, and devotee, it is my responsibility to help educate people on the pros and cons of having a dog of any kind.

If these issues interest you at all, please watch each segment of the video and contemplate just how serious things could get regarding the welfare of dogs everywhere. The video may present a pretty bleak, pessimistic outlook on the situation, but even if you think it is exaggerated, it is better to be informed than ignorant.


Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

someone just tell me to delete my blog. srsly.

i thought i was ready to go to sleep. guess i was wrong.

the end.

what i have learned...

...in my first week as a nanny.

1. six year olds will always beat you at the memory game. always.
2. getting paid to jump on the trampoline, play board games, watch 'high school musical', and read stories is quite a good deal.
3. my girls are much better company than the average customer at some kind of store.
4. 3rd grade homework is blissful. kindergarten homework is even better.
5. spaghetti-o's are a gift to mankind.
6. always check homework.
7. the ability to contort one's body into inhuman shapes is helpful when playing hide and seek.

Blog Ignorer

That's what I am. A blog ignorer.

But it's really good. Because it means I have had other things to do and I have been having fun doing them.

I live with cool roommates. Three girls and two guys and Gabe, currently the first place dog in the contest!! (Keep up the votes until September 10th!)

I got a job that I am starting on Monday as a nanny for two little girls. It's definitely a blessing and a provision. Plus I get nights and weekends off - WHEN HAVE I EVER HAD A JOB LIKE THAT, YOU GUYS?

Zoe's is a coffee shop we are helping get off the ground and running in the next few weeks. (It looks so good inside).



It's almost fall. And that is never a bad thing.

I am making some new friends and reconnecting with the old ones.

My parents live close enough that I can make a weekend visit if I want.

A lot of people wrinkle their nose and scratch their heads when I tell them that I moved BACK here. And sometimes I wonder the same thing. But mostly this place holds a special place in my life. I like the simplicity of this life. I like the down to earth nature of this place. I like that not every luxury is available and at my finger tips. I like being a part of bringing new life back to an old place, and I like the people I am working alongside. Lately, when I am asked how I feel about Jesus right now, I just say 'thankful' and 'blessed'. Because both are so true.

VOTE FOR GABE!

I am sorry that you have to make a stinking account to be able to vote, but I would really appreciate it if you have the time! Everyone is allowed one vote per day, so I think we could easily win if we got a crew of people to pull for Gabe. We could win free training classes and some food/treats!

Rotten Apple...AGAIN

For the second time in its short two-year lifespan, my computer ate it. As in, won't turn on and probably will be completely wiped clean by Apple, ate it. Last time, it was a fried logic board. This incident was eerily similar in nature, so maybe I'm dealing with the same thing again. I am still quite the fan of Apple, but really? Twice in two years? Does anyone else have such luck? (Or should I say lack thereof...)

I will survive. I can deal with not checking my email from my bed, or watching a movie as I go to sleep. I'll get over not being able to edit pictures for a while. But you guys. MY RESUME IS ON THAT COMPUTER. And I need a job. EORTIJLFGJDSLJKFSLDJFKSALDFJKAS

Sometimes, all we can do is suck it up and wait. I have a roof over my head, friends to live and laugh with, and the world's greatest dog. I think that all makes a computer seem a little less important.

grumpy old woman

i thought of a form of torture last night.

1. have someone sleep in a very hot bedroom. top floor of the house, no ac, just one window to open. (make sure said room faces the street outside.)
2. release stupid, white, drunk, immature, disrespectful college kids into the street outside. wait for the yelling to commence. (best if person in hot room has just drifted off to sleep when the yelling starts.)
3. allow it to continue for an extended period of time.
4. watch as sleep becomes impossible.

i couldn't have thought this one up on my own - you have to experience it to believe it.

why is it more hot inside my house than outside? this may motivate me to spend a lot more time outside.

minus the army of mosquitoes unleashing its fury after a very wet spring.

ok. now that i got that off of my chest, i would like to say that i am glad to finally be on the last leg of my journey since unemployment. in a few weeks, i won't have another move hanging over my head. i won't live out of a suitcase. i might even have a bed! i won't be a sub-leaser any more. some stability will be nice.

i will, however, be 'that' girl - the one looking for a job. or at least some sort of odd jobs to piece together. anything to pay the bills. and no, hypothetical employer - just because i have a lip piercing does not mean you should discriminate against me or think that i am a bad worker. i just don't understand that philosophy at all.

looking forward to living back in that sleepy town.
serving a church.
living with a dear friend and hopefully making a few more.
not throwing my money down a landlord's drain.
and eating at pita pit - whenever i want.

it's gonna be good.

if i was something found in a household, it would probably be a lazy susan.

Well, it took me a while. A long while. But after almost two months of being unemployed, I think I am finally reaching the point of 'I do not want to live out of a suitcase any more.' And also, 'I want to stay in one place for a while.' (aka longer than a few weeks here and there). I might even be ready to look for a job again. And even contemplate the option of GOING BACK TO SCHOOL. Sick. But good. Stay tuned for more on that matter.

On the other hand, my current lifestyle is wonderfully conducive to a day of recovery from all the travel. I feel embarassed even admitting this, but here is what today looked like:

11:00 am - woke up.
12:30 pm - went back to bed.
3:30 pm - woke up. Had lunch.
4:00 pm - watched 'The O.C.' and talked to sweet Tory.
5:00 pm - fed the dogs. Uploaded FAILs to Facebook. Drank coffee.
6:30 pm - talked to sweet Megan.

and now, here I am. Still unshowered, starting to feel somewhat awake, and doing laundry. I would be lying if I said I didn't feel guilty for having a day like this. But then again, what else would I be doing? Ok. Showering might be one option.

Anyway, I am looking forward to having some sort of settled feeling in a month or so. To be challenged. And molded. And invested in something worthwhile.

That's all really.

For now, I am hanging out with my doggies. It brings an amazing amount of contentment.

tourist

as we walk down the street in juneau alaska, a woman pops out from an alley way, beckoning for the man standing behind her to come forward.

'see? i told you. white. WHITE.'

all while pointing at my legs.

uh...lookin's for free. touchin's gonna cost you.

i looked like an eskimo when i was born...

This week. The cruise is finally here.

The best vacation I never earned.

The goods:

I will practice my picture taking.
I will always look for whales.
I will have a drink for the first time with my baby sister.
I will enjoy my family.
I will finally get to see a place I have always wanted to go.
I will dress up - at least, dress up in a manner that suits me.

The bads:

I will miss my puppy. If you don't think it sounds too silly, say a little prayer for Gabe and me both. We're not used to being apart. There could be tears tomorrow morning. I will feel guilty every single day I am gone. He will act forlorn every single day I am gone. All I ask is that he's still here, waiting for me when I get back.

Colorado Thoughts

Who knew you could produce so much hail?

I am appreciative of every day that I can go outside and not feel suffocated.

Thank goodness for your natural geography that helps me find my way around.

DIA - we have a love|hate relationship.

The Front Range feels more like home than I would have thought growing up.

You are such a nice combination of liberalism and conservativism.

In general, I adore you.

Stooping to This Level

I am a little funny about girly movies. I hated the new 'Pride and Prejudice', rolled my eyes at 'The Holiday', didn't cry in 'The Notebook', and have never finished watching 'How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days'.

But in the last month, I have seen not just one, but two chick flicks I found worth watching. 'New in Town' and 'The Proposal'. Both a little predictable, as is to be expected. But really funny, and really cute.

PS: But I still didn't cry in either of those. If you want to see me cry, make me watch a dog movie.

Productive

I would now like to brag (to myself) about everything I have done in the last several days.

- Changed light bulbs in the dining room light fixture.
- Bought groceries.
- Medicated the dogs.
- Unpacked boxes. SO MANY.
- Threw away stuff. SO MUCH STUFF.
- Got rid of boxes. More than I could count.
- Set up the internet.
- Set up my mom's computer with wireless.
- Moved my mom's computer downstairs.
- Got the house key copied.
- Did laundry.
- Did dishes.
- Got rid of the pie.
- Ordered mail keys.
- Cut the hairballs off of Maci.
- Tried to wash the windows of my car, only to realize I was not using window cleaner. Hello, streaks.
- Sort of learned my way around. To Wal Mart. I've been four times.
- Took out the trash. More than once.
- Freed Chloe.

It actually felt longer than that list. Fail.

Classic

So one of the many, many, MANY boxes that arrived in Colorado Springs contained the Parsons family breadbox. There were several women in the midst of organizing the kitchen at the moment I located it, so I notified my mom of the discovery.

'Be careful,' I warned. 'There is still food inside of it.'
'There is?' she asked, a little taken off guard.
'Yes,' I answered, opening up the cover a little so she could see. 'Oh. And a golf ball. And some...shoulder pads.'

How? Why??? WHO???

They went in the trash immediately.

Gold Bond is my New Best Friend.

I needed a new post. But what should it say? Nothing has happened, and everything has happened. How do I narrow it down?

Firstly, I am back in good old Colorado as of yesterday. Back in Fort Collins as of today. But not for long! Soon I will be back in the Springs, dog sitting once again. Kansas was wonderful, and a lot of blessings came out of that time. On my very last night there, a lot of wonderful ladies and I went out to the prairie to take pictures. If you would like to see some of our work, go here.

Now. As peaceful, serene, and lovely as these pictures may be...I have to tell you about a terrible side effect of that night - CHIGGERS. Someone asked me if they were a mixture of chickens and tigers. More like a mixture of Satan and mosquitos, if you ask me. I started having some severely itchy legs during the drive out from KC, and it has only gotten worse from there. I have bites EVERYWHERE. Especially on my legs. My entire legs. Oh, and as if that's not bad enough, ALL of my clothes were smashed together in my suitcase for the remainder of the trip. So what does that mean for me now? That alllll of my clothes are contaminated? As is my suitcase, that I have to continue to live out of for the next month? What ridiculous little demons.

Secondly. This is the year of the bridesmaid for me. And today I got my first bridesmaid outfit for TORY'S wedding. It fits, and I will even be able to wear it again as a normal outfit! So that is exciting.

Thirdly. What is with the hail? Everywhere I go, there is hail! Golfball sized in Missouri, thankfully sparing my car much damage. And then more hail in the Springs yesterday. And quarter-sized in Fort Collins today. My car will be lucky to survive the summer!

Fourthly. WhatamIdoingwithmylife.

I gots a nubbin

it's on my face.

Mercy

I want to write something today, but I am just not sure what to write.

How can I live so much life and yet still not find something to write about? I think I over-analyze everything too much.

I can't usually spill my guts here on this blog, guys. Just can't. But what else does that leave to write about?

Well, allergies.
Pictures.
Videos.
Nephews.
Gabe.
Funny stories.

...

And another dosage of Gabe and nephews.

And that I am oh-so-excited for Alaska in LESS THAN A MONTH!



Speaking of nephews, mine are the cutest in the world. We had a nerf gun fight the other day before I left the house for the kennel. Every time I got shot, I would dramatically fall to the ground, limbs flopping and making a big scene. This was much to their delight, of course. And they would wander over to shoot me again while I was down. I would say 'Please, no, have mercy!' and then they would shoot me anyway.

They must have thought that phrase was pretty cool though, because now when they shoot me or anyone else, they say 'YOU HAVE MERCY!!!' And bang. Nerfed. Even after taking the time to explain to them what mercy really means, Micah saw me briefly the other day and said 'Remember, Becca, you will STILL have mercy TOMORROW.'

haha. Colorado just might be perfect if they could come along.

You know there is a pretty good chance your skin looks like that of an adolescent...

...when your mom has to ask you if you are out of Proactiv as you are leaving the house without makeup one morning. 'fml' hahaha

I sound like I have a mental disorder?

I don't know where home is any more. For real, I don't.

For years, Colorado was home. Namely, Montrose. And then big bad Kansas City came in and swooped up my family, tossing them about the country and making us cry like babies.

And then I moved back to Montrose. More crying.
And then I moved to Greeley, where I stayed for three years of college.
I spent summer and Christmas breaks in Kansas City during that time, looking forward to seeing my family and the few friends I had there, but always glad to get back to Colorado too.
And then I graduated. Probably some crying involved somewhere.
And then I lived in Kansas City over the summer.
Texas came next, but only for four months. Lots of crying there.
And then, it was back to Kansas City again. Followed by more crying.

I should mention that, throughout all of this chaos, I have had five driver's licenses. In seven years of driving. Stoopid.

I was probably more sad than ever to live here, but that had to do with a lot of other things. Like a hellish break up. And still not having very many friends. And not feeling confident about which direction my life was taking. Every plan that I had had up to that point was nowhere to be found.

But soon, six or eight months passed. And I fell in love with my church. And I could walk in to that building and run into lots of people who I knew there and they would greet me with smiles and hugs. And even though I would still often feel like a wall flower, it became a lot more obvious that I was part of a group, and in the loop. A part of me still longed for Colorado, but Kansas City was treating me well.

And then...I got a job. One that took me back to Colorado. Which was wonderful and awful all at once. Ironically, there was more crying when I moved back. And ever since being there, I have been so happy to be back in a familiar place. And to enjoy the beautiful weather and scenery. And to have ample time with the great friends I have made over the years. To make things even better, my parents also are moving out there, which means frequent visits.

The next part is that, after two months of living there, I quit my job. Which is again both wonderful and awful all at once. Because I am so happy to be done with that place, but also pretty much at a loss of what to do next. (But I'm not worried. At least not yet.)

Which brought me to taking a two week trip to Kansas City. Which brings me to my current thoughts. I was pretty much thrilled to be coming back to the place that had been so aversive to me for so long. And when I saw the 'sold' sign on my parents' house here in town, I was not 100% thrilled. It all seemed so backwards to me - was this not what I had been hoping for for years? I've only been gone for two months, so to be back here for an extensive visit basically tricks me into thinking that I never moved. That I have only been on a trip for a few months.

I don't regret moving. And I am still really glad my parents will both be out there soon. But I think I fell more in love with Kansas City than I once thought would ever be possible. HOW ARE THESE THOUGHTS COMING FROM MY HEAD???

It's sort of annoying not to have a home. But also sort of cool, because it means I love a bunch of different homes.

And also. I am glad that Colorado and Kansas hold hands. Because it makes it a lot easier to float between the two.

You Make All Things Work Together For my Good

I'm quite in love with this. And what better words to be chewing on during a time of unemployment?*



*(oh yeah, i quit my job.)

Goofus.

He is one.

Good Morning, Sunshine

This day off is like that first gasp of air when you've been seeing how long you can hold your breath underwater and finally come back to the surface.

I'm so glad to be to today.

I was determined not to let anything come between me and sleeping in. And, as Murphy's Law would have it, today that was not the case. Gabe is usually awesome about staying asleep until I get up. But, he managed to break into his food bag yesterday (yes, AGAIN) while I was in the shower for a brief 15 minutes or so. Enough time to do some damage. Thankfully he didn't wake up periodically through the night, but by 5 am he was desperate to go guzzle some water. Maybe dog food is really high in sodium, I'm not sure. But every time he goes on a food binge (which I am coming to realize is WAY too frequently in his two years of life), he is desperate to consume water in huge quantities.

And so I found myself stumbling out of the bedroom in the dark, Gabe first hitting up the TOILET for refreshment. Because, you know, walking six feet to the bathroom is so much easier than the 15 feet to the kitchen and water bowl. 'It's a good thing you're so cute,' I always tell him, 'because otherwise you'd be back on the streets.'

I managed to fall back asleep until about 7:45, when our wonderful neighbor decided to start up his motorcycle. Simple, right? Apparently not. Why start it up once when you could start it up 13 times or so? Why let it sit there idling when you could rev the engine for maximum noise? And why wait until the sun is really up and shining when you could get to it before 8 am?

In his defense, I guess I should acknowledge that it's still a workday for most of the world. And, if truth be told, 7:45 is still more than two hours later than I usually wake up. But, while we're on the topic of truth, you should probably know that I flipped him off in my mind. (Hi, Mom and Dad!)

So what does the rest of the day hold? By now I should probably know better than to make plans. Because obviously things don't always go like I imagine them to. But I can say with confidence that I will spend some time with the bestie before she heads off to Europe for a very long month, and I will be seeing this guy play a show tonight with the company of some Greeley friends.

PS: Kansas City in two weeks. I'm so ready.

Maybe I Just Need More Sleep

I can't really put how exactly I am feeling into words.

But I feel like I am running a million miles an hour, need to stop and breathe, and can't do so.

Work is non-stop. There is always something new to learn. Something I have forgotten. Or something another employee has forgotten that I have to figure out and get settled. And I am there starting at 645 am, 6 days a week. One day off flies by in a heartbeat. One morning to sleep in (if I get to at all) is almost non-existent.

This morning was chaos. Phones ringing, appointments being made (remember to pull the charts, print off consent forms, and write in the chart to prep it for the appointment.) Clients arriving, animals needing to be checked in. For boarding. Grooming. Or to see the doctor. Sometimes they are being checked in for all of those things at once. Make phone calls to confirm appointments for tomorrow. Prep charts for the appointments coming in tomorrow. Answer more phones. Prepare a chart for two new clients. Check clients out when they are done. BABYSIT A ONE YEAR OLD. (yes, I am being honest). And make sure you're not stepping on anyone's toes. And make sure you can keep up with everyone else. And don't mess up. And ask questions if you get confused, but don't BOTHER them with questions. And this doctor has this policy, but the other doctor doesn't care. But make sure you never do this around this doctor. Oh, and don't be surprised if the other doctor just calls and cancels all afternoon appointments anyway.

I feel frazzled. It hasn't even been two months. And I have learned a lot, but it feels like there is still so much to learn.

And in the spare time I do have, there are houses to be seen for next year. Groceries to be bought. Friends who need a listening ear. A dog that needs to run and let off his excess energy. Sleep, in very small dosages. SHOWERS TO BE TAKEN OCCASIONALLY. Since when does showering feel like an overwhelming task???

I'm not wanting to be a complainer. I am blessed with so much. But the stress is creeping up on me. I feel incapable. Anxiety is high when I am constantly holding my breath at the office, waiting to discover the next mess that has to be dealt with. My trainers are my security blanket, and I feebly attempt to cling on to them at all times. Does anyone know where I can get some thicker skin? Mine's feeling pretty paper thin. When employees and clients alike are throwing a huge fit and blowing off tons of steam, I just wish they had more Jesus. I need more of Him too.

This is Pointless, and Probably Will Make me Late For Work.

I can't tell you how good it feels to sleep in and then take a power walk with Gabe before work. It never gets to happen! Except for today. Yes.

I think about dogs way too much. And Gabe is all I want in a dog. But someday I want to get another one. I want another Gabe. Which will never happen, because he is one of a kind. But, I am pretty sure he is Golden Retriever crossed with a Border Collie. Two of the best breeds! They're so different in so many ways though. So tell me, if it was based on looks alone...who would you choose?





Maybe I need one of each.

It's Monday

Walked ten dogs.
Sent three home.
Took in two more.
Bathed one.
Medicated two cats.
Cleaned their nasty cages.
Gained one more.
Fed all.
Frantically did laundry.
Climbed the stairs 89 times? It felt like that.
Didn't even touch the cleaning - ran out of time.

And now, I get to go back for 6 and a half hours of desk duty.

Monday is lame.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

But even as stressed/frustrated/tired as I feel today, I am thankful for every blessing. And I will make it through the day just fine. Please offer up your prayers for these guys.

All the First Pages

Things are a-changing.

Some things already have. Such as, I moved back to Colorado. Started a new job. Met new roommates and moved in with them. Pay my own bills.

On Thursday, Dad will officially live in the state again. Mom will not be far behind. I'm pretty glad about this...but there is an element of nostalgia too. I will never live in our house of almost six years again. My family will stretch from Nashville all the way to the Front Range of Colorado. Sometimes I feel like a broken record talking about this so much but it's basically the theme of my life now and will continue to be for several months. Kansas City became more like a home in the year I lived there, but now it too will become another closed chapter in our lives.

I see the positive in the changes. It's been a breath of fresh air for me to have regained my independence. I might have cried intermittently on the drive from Kansas to Colorado...but that was the last time. And it has been such a good thing for me to set about conquering a new city, a new job, and basically living like any other 'adult' would. I'm thankful that my parents will be back in the place they love the most and that they will have a chance to serve one more church before Dad retires.

But I'm a little sad too. I miss friends. I miss The freaking Gathering. I miss my family's dogs, the kennel I worked at, and I miss being able to have a family dinner every so often. So, someone, whenever it turns muggy and gross there...please tell me. So that I can miss that place a little less.

You guys. Can I just tell you that it's ABOUT TIME that someone launched something like this! I hope their locations include Denver!!

Holy Hectic

My mom suggested to me today that I write a picture blog with my time off from work. I protested the idea because my room is so messy. SOOO messy. But then I took pictures anyway.

Exhibit A (walking in the door)



Exhibit B (90 degrees to the left)



Exhibit C (another 90 degrees)



Exhibit D (making use of every piece of wall)



This was after filling the closet as much as the picture above shows. AND it has gotten even BIGGER since this picture. I think I need to make a run to Goodwill.



The most important belonging of all.



Just to prove I was here...



PS, Mom/Dad...were these a present from you guys? I found them in the midst of all my stuff.



Coolest kid on the block.



Peace in the middle west.

Weekly News

I don't honestly have the time/energy right now to write something very cohesive or creative. But I have been neglecting my blog, so for the few of you out there who read this, here are a few little updates.

1. I will never again let Gabe eat rawhide, or at least not in the amount that he got treated to on Easter. (I never have let him have it in the past but he was offered one by a friend). Two days of diarrhea and throwing up was enough for me. And him. He's doing a lot better today though!

2. My room looks a little better than it did last week. Still lots of boxes strewn about, closet mostly empty due to a lack of hangers, and no comforter/sheets on the bed. But there are a few things on the walls, the book shelf is filling up, and I can see the carpet at least! Once Dad arrives on Friday, a few more of these issues should be remedied.

3. I get exhausted from my job. Some days, such as Monday and Tuesday of this week, I work from 6:45-6:15. With a break in the middle, but still. SUCH A LONG DAY. At the same time, the challenge of learning a new job with new tasks has been good for me I think. I feel like it's a more worthwhile job and something to take more pride in than being a barista. Not that it's hard to find a job with more purpose than making coffee, but still.

4. I am having Thai food and watching LOST with my roommates tonight. Awww. I haven't been able to talk about roommates in so long. The girls I live with are really great. For being a random find on Craigslist, we seem to be getting along very well. Not to mention they have good taste in TV shows...

5. Bri, Emily (not roommates) and I are starting up a little Bible Study/book study together. Will be reading 'Following Jesus' by N.T. Wright. Not gonna lie, a little bit intimidated to read Wright. But still looking forward to it.

The end. Ha lame. Picture post soon???

Pitaful

I just ordered Pita Pit. Online.
What is the most pathetic part of this?
The fact that I was too lazy to make dinner?
Probably the fact that I could not even manage to drive to the dang place to pick it up.

I'm wiped out.
Too much has happened in the last month, and it's finally catching up to me I think.

At least I have a door now. And a bed. And a pita in the mail somewhere.

PS: Gabe is wiped too! He has a new roommate, Beau, who wrestles him day and night.

Pictures to come...maybe tomorrow. Maybe in a few days. Maybe if I ever get energy again.

Regression?

I feel like a college student again.

Okay, I know, it's been less than 2 years since I was one. And I am often asked if I am old enough to drink alcohol legally. And I can even get the discount at the theater when showing my student ID for a movie. (Not that I have ever done that. Shhhh.)

But basically, let me back up. My point is this: although I have not been done with college life for very long, certain changes did take place between graduation and now.

-I moved home and lived with my parents. They allowed me to be there rent-free and gave me permission to eat their food. I got to eat their cooking. This meant a lot less cereal dinners and rationing of expensive things like produce.
-There were definitely nights where I was the first one in bed. No dance parties or shrieking roommates interfered with my sleep schedule. And I slept in my little corner bedroom, cozy and tucked away.
-Since my parents are hard-working individuals blessed with solid jobs, we did not have to make decisions like 'Everyone put on every jacket you own. We're turning off the heat to save on utilities this month.' Furthermore, the house was warmer in the first place because it did not have one inch gaps in the doorways or drafty windows.

It was sort of a plush life, living with them. And I don't regret being there for a minute. But since moving back to Colorado, there have been some changes once again.

-I sleep on a couch. For more than two weeks I have slept on this couch. And will continue to do so until Wednesday. I should also casually mention that this couch is in the living room of a house with an open floor plan in which four other people live.
-I buy groceries. And while buying said groceries, I either make tough decisions about which items to pass on to save money, or I drop those items in the cart anyway and walk in a cloak of guilt to the checkout stand.
-Starting Wednesday, I will start shelling money over to a landlord, never to see that money again.
-I stayed up until 130 am on Friday night (despite having to work at 645 on Saturday), and almost 300 am last night. I got up at 10 today, and was at church by 1045...complete with bed head.

Yes, something(s) have definitely changed. And I think I like it.

There will be days where I would definitely prefer to be back with the family under one roof. There will be weeks where I will probably wonder how I am going to pay for something. But having a job that asks a lot of patience and confidence from me (even when I have to fake it) is life-giving, in a roundabout way. And being near my best friend is surreal. And meeting new friends is such a gift. And having a social life is so...necessary!

I'm back in the saddle again. And I think I like it.

Observations From Working at an Animal Hospital: Week 1

1. There are some really, really nice pet owners out there. I am like putty in their hands.
2. There are also some really, really neurotic pet owners out there. It drives me crazy.
3. The candy basket on the front desk counter is not my friend.
4. Capturing and scruffing mean, grouchy cats to put them in a carrier is not a pretty sight. I am also a pansy at it.
5. I have already become aware of several euthanasia appointments that have occurred - cats, dogs, even a puppy - and I have teared up a little thinking about it. More than once.
6. Vet clinics like to be clean - VERY clean.
7. The software used to book appointments and check clients in/out is so NOT user-friendly.
8. Puppies will always be my favorite thing.
9. It's all more enjoyable than Starbucks.

Changeling

Sunday: 75 degrees. Wore a v-neck t-shirt with shorts. Walked Gabe in the park wearing Teva flip flops.
Thursday: 15-21 degrees with 6-12 inches of snow accumulation. Had to scrape my car three times in the span of about four hours. Wore my scrubs, with a North Face over the top. Moon boots were dug out of my chaotic clothes packing job. Sent home from work at 10 am.

I am back in Colorado.

It was hard to say goodbye to friends. It was hard to hug each of my siblings one last time. It was hard to pull away from my house that I will never live in again, and to leave my parents standing outside, waving to me. It was hard to kiss each of the dogs goodbye, minus Gabe, and not know when I will see them again. It was hard to desert my little corner bedroom and know that soon, it would be painted over and cleaned out. It was hard to think of church going on on Sunday night, and knowing I was not a part of it. It was hard to uproot again.

But it was so wonderful to crawl out of the box I had made for myself. It was so wonderful to cross the Colorado boundary line. It was so wonderful to have Gabe in the passenger seat for the entire journey. It was so wonderful to receive text messages and phone calls throughout the day from well-wishers and dear friends who wanted to check in on my progress. It was so wonderful to climb out of my car in Fort Collins and give my best friend a hug. It was so wonderful to spend a day with her and her roommates before starting work on Monday.

My third Colorado driver's license is in the mail, making a grand total of five that I have had since turning 16. My new bank account is up and running, with a debit card and checks on the way. My scrubs collection is thriving and colorful. I am going to figure out where I need to go to register my car, and how much it will cost. I am going to switch my phone number (again) to match the state I live in. I am going to learn my way around this little city and fall in love with each and every little coffee shop I walk into. I am going to muck a lot of kennels and shove pills down the throats of some of the meanest cats you have ever met, all with my UNC education. But I am going to be thankful that I have a job and that I live in the place I live in.

There are still a multitude of unknowns. But I am already in love with Fort Collins. I'm in love with this state. I am in love with a new beginning, and to be reunited with such dear friends. I am immensely blessed, and God is so good.

Awake My Soul And Sing

Blog neglect? I think so.

Between packing, last-minute socializing, and being sick, I have not been present enough to post much. I think by now, all of you know that I am moving. To Colorado. In about four more days.

What the heck, you might ask? I think I am asking myself the same question. Along with:

-How did I get this job?
-Is this the right thing to be doing?
-Will my Kansas friends forget all about me?
-Will I make enough money to survive?
-Do I have what it takes to start over again???
etc. etc.

My soul is in a battle of conflicted emotions. Happy I will be back in my favorite state. Excited to live near my best friend for the first time in 6 years. Scared to live on my own. Nervous to start a new job, a real job. Sad to leave what has become a home over the last several years. Nostalgic when taking pictures down off of my walls and packing them up for what feels like the thousandth time. Thankful that Gabe is around to be my co-pilot. Heartbroken to leave my church...and also to watch my family be scattered across the miles. Hopeful for the new adventure. Sick to my stomach to say goodbye to friends once again. Holding my breath and hoping that my faith will be the thing to carry me through another big transition time.

As the day approaches, I get a little more fearful. I realize that not only am I moving out on my own again, but that I will not return home to my current house ever again. I've gotten spoiled being able to attend every family dinner and babysit my nephews on the weekend.

But I'm going anyway. I'm going to go. Grow. Learn. Maybe cry a little. But also experience the blessings of God no matter where I end up. And my gosh, I get to do it while breathing in that crisp Colorado air. I have no complaints about that.

<3

several reasons to LOVE going home.

A Soapbox for Becca

I am sure by now that most everyone out there has read this story - the one about the pet chimpanzee Travis that 'randomly' attacked a friend of his owner. And if not, you should read up on it.

Stories like this one really boil my blood. And I'm not going to go all 'P.E.T.A' on you. At least not to the point of throwing fake blood on your fur coat. But this situation really does make me sad in so many regards.

-Obviously, there is a great deal of sympathy and concern for the human victim in the attack. Her life will clearly never be the same again, and that is assuming that she makes a recovery at all from the attack. On top of the physical disfiguration that she will have to deal with, she will undoubtedly deal with emotional trauma for years to come as well. Your guess is as good as mine when it comes to wondering if she will ever have a friendship with Travis's owner again or not.

-Additionally, it is very unfortunate and unfair that the chimp himself had to pay for this situation with his life. We will never know what exactly triggered him to act so savagely towards the victim, but I hope that people can realize that it should not come as a surprise. Even after being raised by a human and socialized around many people, Travis still had instincts that could not and would not be masked. From a psychological standpoint, the 'nature vs. nurture' argument can be addressed. In other words, was Travis's personality and behavior most influenced by the circumstances he was raised in, or the innate tendencies he was born with? From what I have found, it is almost always a combination of the two. This applies not only to animals of all kinds, but humans as well. So, while Travis was a 'pet' who knew little more than living among humans and even behaving like one, he was still a monkey at the end of the day. And I believe his actions were those of a wild animal - not random, not unpredictable, but purely instinctual, whether that was for protective reasons, territorial reasons, etc.

-Finally, I truly feel sympathy for the woman who owned Travis as well. It is so easy for the media to portray her as some kind of idiot or lunatic. While I believe that it was not wise to keep a chimpanzee for a pet, reports on the news opened my eyes to elements of her personal life. She lived alone, craving companionship and desiring to nurture someone. That is a natural desire, especially for a woman. So, Travis was treated like a human. He ate human food, slept in a human bed, and undoubtedly was thought of as this woman's baby. And, while I fully support having a pet for companionship (Gabe has been a lifesaver for me over the past year and a half), a wild animal is such a poor choice for that companionship. It's easy to see how she envisioned a chimpanzee as the perfect solution - they are very similar to humans in appearance and even in their intelligence. Without having to commit to a human being as a spouse or a parent, she was able to pour into a being and receive affection in return. But that would never be enough for Travis. We as people often trick ourselves into thinking that love is all that an animal needs to thrive. As a wild animal in particular, Travis needed an environment and lifestyle more similar to what he would naturally have in the wild - even if he never experienced it since the age of three weeks. In a way, his owner loved him to death - literally.

I guess part of the reason that I feel so connected to this case is because of how, at dog training school, my eyes were opened more than ever to the relationships people have with their pets. Anyone who knows me is aware that I have always loved my dogs VERY much and will undoubtedly continue to do so throughout my life. And there is nothing wrong with that - at least to a certain point. Dogs have been domesticated obviously, and they thrive living in our homes because of their desire to be pack animals. I marvel at the bond man has with dogs daily. But you might be shocked to learn about how many dog behavioral issues stem from the irresponsibility or simple lack of knowledge of the dog owner. A dog may love sleeping in the bed, being fed treats, and being showered with affection. And I am not opposed to those things! But dogs also need discipline and a clear leadership from their master. It is such a huge part of why training is so beneficial to the relationship and respect a dog has with its owner.

One reason that I think Dog Whisperer Cesar Milan is so successful in this country is because it his priority to provide what dogs truly need and not what many of us think they need. His model is this - exercise, discipline, and then affection - in that order. It is what makes the most sense for a dog naturally in the wild. But, many people have a very difficult time straying from the common American model of affection, affection, a little bit of exercise, and maybe some discipline. In some extreme cases, the outcome can be the same as what happened with Travis - loving a dog to death.

I don't really know where I am going with all of this. It's just a topic I am passionate about, I suppose. And a big part of the reason that I want to train dogs is to help reduce the number of situations out there that pose a risk to a potential victim, dog, and dog-owner. So...does anyone know Cesar Milan and want to introduce us???

Winners

I feel like I talk about Starbucks too often. And many times in a pretty negative fashion. But when that's where I spend a good deal of my time, that's where a lot of my stories are going to stem from. I doubt that anyone cares, but I thought I would give some awards today for various titles that employees or customers have achieved.

1. The Nastiest Drink Ever Award: goes to the woman who ordered this - A venti quad shot TEN PUMP BREVE white mocha. If you don't understand what that means, let me break it down for you. Venti is the biggest size at Starbucks. It's 20 ounces (and here's a free fact for you: 'venti' is the Italian word for 20). Normally it gets two shots of espresso and five pumps of whichever syrup you choose. White mocha happens to be the sweetest syrup we have. Breve is steamed half and half; the Starbucks standard recipe uses two percent milk normally. That drink was topped off with whipped cream also, as if it couldn't get any worse. A co-worker of mine decided to replicate this drink on a different day just so we could try it for ourselves - I pretty much felt my teeth decompose on the spot as I took one sip. SO NASTY.

2. My Least Favorite Customer Ever Award: this one is going to have to be a tie. First we have the man who, with a smile on his face, told me the other day that the store I work in was the worst store he had ever been in. As if I wasn't taken off guard by this statement in the first place (his drink was just like he asked for it and not delayed at ALL), his reasoning for the complaint was that 'every time' he came into the store, there were always 'people talking behind the counter.' Well? We are humans. We do talk to one another and we are friends. Also, was I talking to anyone behind the counter when you walked up? That's right, the answer is no. So why are you telling me instead of the people who were talking? And why are you smiling while telling me this? And most importantly, WHY ARE YOU HERE? If it's so bad, I encourage you to go elsewhere. Seriously!

My other least favorite customer is the man who ordered a tall coffee on Voting Day. Starbucks had a deal running where anyone who voted would get a tall coffee for free. Now, I guess the way it was supposed to work was that the customer had to have a sticker and proudly show it and ask for their coffee. I will admit, he didn't do that. But I felt bad charging him for his drink if he had voted and just didn't know about the special deal. So I asked him: "Sir, did you vote today?" Man with a stick up his ass: "That's none of your business." Me: "Oh. Well...the only reason I ask is because, if you did, I can give you your coffee for free today." MWASUHA: "Well that's still none of your business." Me: "Ok...then that will be $1.67." And what I would have liked to have added: "Your defensive nature tells me you didn't vote anyway, so nice try keeping that a secret. Have a Patriotic day."

3. The Grossest Task of All Time Award: has got to be cleaning the drains at Starbucks. Seriously. Four drains, all of which receive gifts from various stations behind the counter. A few words come to mind: Curdled milk residue. Murky water. Stale stench. Stray milk caps. BIOHAZARD. I don't think my description does this job justice. I stand up after cleaning, lightheaded. Could be the chemicals I am cleaning with, or it could be the filth I am bringing my face within inches of.

4. The Best Co-Worker Award: My friend Murad! He truly is awesome. Grew up in Jordan, now goes to UMKC and is working on his master's. I don't know how he functions, because he always gets about 2-4 hours of sleep before coming in to work. I've never seen him in a bad mood, however, and customers have commented about how well he makes drinks. Additionally some of the stuff he says makes me laugh so hard.

Such as this morning. I brought out a box of Red Velvet Cupcakes to put into the case. Murad: "I think those ones are a little shy." Me: "What? Shy? What?" Murad: "Yes, look at them, they are a little red!" BAHAHA.

Or yesterday as a co-worker who is a good deal bigger than me stepped backwards right as I was passing behind them, I was more or less shoved into the counter and then continued on my way, trying to stay composed. Murad came up and whispered "You were like a shaken iced tea just now." HAHA! Composure was all gone at that point.

He has texted me more than once to say "Hey you, it was sucks when you left today." Probably my favorite phrase of all time. "It was sucks."

I could go on and on with awards. But I'll spare you for now. If anything can top these, I will just have to come back to update the list from time to time.

Compare and Contrast

Current musts:

1. Special K with Red Berries. I could eat this every morning of my life, I think.
2. Palmer's Cocoa Butter Lotion. It smells fantastic and moisturizes so well!
3. Air fresheners. I love it when my room and my car smell good. And Yankee Candle and Febreeze make some great ones.
4. My camera. I am going to have to buy a whole new computer just to hold pictures that I take, I'm pretty sure. I'm fobsessed.
5. My Oral B Vitality. It's an electric toothbrush. At first I hated it, but now I really like it. It basically polishes my teeth and is a lot less harsh on my gums. Now when I use a normal toothbrush it feels odd.
6. Iced double tall soy caramel macchiatos with sugar free vanilla and light caramel. I'm allowed to get it because I can make it for myself. Undecided if I will order such a train wreck of a drink order when I don't work at Starbucks any more.
7. Burt's Bees chapstick. It is the best.
8. Puppies. There is pretty much nothing better in the whole world than playing with puppies.
9. Wearing my black pajama pants to work. No one has noticed yet - in fact, if I wear those pants and a camisole to bed, then slip a polo shirt on over the top in the morning, it's like I never really had to get out of my pajamas!
10. Walks with Gabe. There's nice weather, and I have two healthy feet again.
11. Sale racks. I will forever be in love.

Current must nots:

1. Drama. Never.
2. Passive aggression. MEHHH.
3. People who talk too much and listen not enough.
4. Customers that tell me their negative opinion of Starbucks or the particular store I work in while I am in the middle of getting their order met. Talk to the manager. Talk to corporate. Or shut the bleep up and go open your own perfect coffee shop. And never talk to me again. Last time I checked, no one was FORCING people to drink Starbucks in general, let alone from any particular location. And, 9 and a half times out of 10 I am not actually responsible for whatever it is that they are unhappy about.**
5. Gas prices almost at 2 dollars again.
6. Expensive purses. It's not so much that I am against them. But I literally don't understand them. It's a purse. It will get filled with gum wrappers and receipts and pens. And you wouldn't want people wanting to steal your name-brand purse that much more. And you can find ones that look nice that aren't so expensive. Right? I guess I could be totally wrong about that. But that's my observation.

I am limiting my negative list so that it is shorter than the positive list. Should I have started with the bad one so that things ended on a happier note?

**If I am responsible for it, I apologize for it and make it right. I can get you examples if you are dying to know.

Puppy Love

I finally had a little photography lesson with my darling sister in law Ashley yesterday. And that lesson has brought on various thoughts and feelings.

1. My camera is capable of much. So much.
2. I am so inexperienced, and I will only get better if I practice.
3. I am excited to practice.
4. Let's face it. Gabe will be the subject of many photo shoots.

So I started practicing last night.

Before I got the settings right...





...and then a little bit better!

It Made me so Happy

to discover that, on Facebook, there is an entire fan-club dedicated to the hat that Aretha Franklin wore on inauguration day.



For that, she deserves a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

L O S T (him)

Last night while at the show of a lovely friend of mine, my friend Leslie and I sat at a table with various other people. Some of them we knew, others we didn't know. It was one of those settings where it was possible to be social and talk to others, but I also wanted to hear all of the music.

However, during one of the breaks between bands, someone that had been chatting with Leslie a lot reached across the table to shake my hand and introduce himself. I discovered that they had been discussing 'Lost', so naturally I wanted to join right in.

He informed me that some friends of his were planning on re-making an episode and filming it. He told me about how he was planning on playing not one, but two characters because there were not enough people to fill all the roles. And then, he offered me the chance to be a character in their episode if I was interested.

My response, straight-faced. "Yeah, I would like to be Sawyer!"
His response, straight-faced. "No. You would have to choose a female character."

haha. It felt a little bit like a Jim vs. Dwight moment. My joke FAILed. And then I felt awkward. But it was worth it.

Say What?

Why no.
The new layout/color scheme is not in honor of Valentine's Day.
Psh|as if.
But thank you for asking.

Tidbits

It's one of those nights. As in, one of those nights where I have time to update my blog, feel obligated to update my blog since it has been so many days since the last update, but also am not sure of whether or not I have significant things to share.

So it will be a cocktail of thoughts, updates, and probably some useless information.

1. I'm still wearing the boot. For a while I was getting concerned that my tendon might not heal all the way. Because it was still bothering me a lot. Of course, going to work and standing on it for 6 or 7 hours was probably not helping it heal. Thankfully, in just the last two days or so, it has really started to feel somewhat normal again. My follow up appointment is on Monday, and I hope to get a go-ahead from the doctor to ditch the boot.
a. A friend of mine at church saw me from far away and thought I might have just been trying out a new style by wearing two different boots. I guess that could be taken in a good way?
b. A regular at Starbucks has offered to have me at his personal training gym to have a session with him to help heal the tendon. Undecided on taking him up on the offer.
c. I have gotten to a point where I forget I am wearing the boot. People ask me what happened a lot and I am taken off guard. Then I kick myself for not coming up with a cooler story regarding the reason for wearing it.
d. Due to my lack of walking ability, my dog is an absolute JOY to be around. And by JOY, I mean PEST.



2. I wonder when I will ever feel confident about what I should be doing with my life, and where I should be to do it. The bad news? It's really frustrating to just sit and let my thoughts about the future just stew. The good news? Lately I don't feel quite as uptight about knowing right away. My job has gotten beyond old. But it is a job. It meets my current needs. And it will carry me until the next thing does happen.

3. It was 0 degrees when I went out and got in my car this morning. The CD player in my car doesn't even turn on at such a temperature. When I left work, it was 12 degrees. And 12 degrees has never felt so pleasant. That is, in comparison to how I felt at 6:20 AM.

4. I thought LOST was coming on last night. But I was a week off. And then disappointed and even more annoyed that it's been so long since it has graced us with its presence. BUT. The silver-lining of the situation is that I got to watch American Idol instead - the one where they came to KC. And I know that if you read this blog you almost definitely know the same people I do. Probably introduced them to me, actually. But I just want to give a shout out to my friends whose lovely faces showed up on the episode. YOU'RE GOIN' TO HOLLYWOOD!!!

5. Iced soy chai from Starbucks seriously is divine. I drink it and literally feel euphoric. That is, until the break ends and I have to go back to the reality of work.

6. Today while I was cleaning up the bar, I heard a little voice say 'Boo!' So I turned around to find the face of my little darling nephew Micah peering over the counter, in the arms of his mom. Jeremy, Ashley, and the boys had come in to visit. Well, mostly to get a drink. But I so happened to be there, thankfully. Did my heart some good.
a. Micah and Tyler only wanted ice water to drink. Even with the other yummy options they could have gotten. Love them.

7. The end.

Outfit Fail.

hahaha.

Old Bootleg

Ladies and Gentlemen of the blog,

It seems that I have been diagnosed as having a mild case of tendonitis. Yes, as a 23 year old. Yes, after all those years of dancing and being an active walker to classes with no indication or difficulty.

I'm not completely sure what I did to cause this issue to flare up, but it was likely the walk/run I did with Gabe on Friday. I, trying to be healthy and ambitious, pushed myself to go further than normal, as well as running more than I usually do. On Saturday I was ready to attempt this same feat but fate would have its own say in the matter: about halfway through the loop, my left foot was screaming at me in burning pain. It felt silly to even consider it but at the time I thought about calling Mom or Dad for a ride home. Gabe and I made it all the way back though, and since that day I have hobbled around, popping 800 milligram Ibuprofen in my mouth as often as is safe to do so.

I was pretty against seeing a doctor as I was confident that I would pay to be told that I 'strained a muscle' and 'should ice it and take some Tylenol.' As I went to the office I faced a strange paradox of wanting a hopeful diagnosis but also wanting to be told there was a significant problem so that the visit didn't feel in vain. In the end, I suppose the news was somewhere in the middle - the tendonitis is not severe and is fairly treatable, but to help cushion the joint I would need to be fitted for a boot.

Yes, a beaut of a boot. The staff at the medical office likened it to 'a ski boot' and 'Darth Vader'. I'm sure you all know what I am talking about. And, for the next two weeks, you might be so lucky as to encounter me wearing such a thing. And wear it I will. This freaking boot cost me $194.89 - even after insurance. Time to get my use out of it - that's more than I have ever spent even on a pair of shoes! And this is only like...half a shoe. Hmph.

The other day as I left Costco with my CANON 40D, I told Ashley that, because I spent so much money, something catostrophic would probably happen, like my car breaking down. I guess I was right, and I guess a 200 dollar boot is what it will be this time.

For the record, I do not regret the purchase of either thing - the camera is INCREDIBLE and the boot REALLY HELPS ME WALK. And God has been faithful in providing odd jobs and extra hours at work. Things will be ok. More than ok. Bootiful. haha. Alright, enough.

Resolute

This is probably overdue. Actually, it IS overdue. There is nothing I can do or say to change the fact that the New Year came and went, and I totally copped out on any sort of 'Best of 2008' or 'What's to Come in 2009' sort of post.

But I am one of the world's most indecisive people. So how would I make a list of 'bests' anyway? I would surely get to the end of it only wringing my hands and wondering how long it would be until I would totally change my mind about many of the things listed or adding several new ones. And, I sort of don't like New Year's resolutions. Is it because they seem cliche to me? Or that the likelihood of me actually sticking to one for good is pretty slim? Does anyone stick to them, for that matter? You have to make it something that is realistic to accomplish to make it worthwhile...but then again you have to make it something challenging so it actually counts. Sometimes resolutions can be cheesy. And, a faint, quirky, defiant shred of something inside of me thinks that anyone should be able to make a resolution on any day of the year.

And yet in the +/-24 hours since New Year's happened, I have had some thoughts come to mind about the year 2009. Most of you know I have been beating my head against the wall for months, trying to figure out what the heck is next for Becca after school. That is, besides loan payments and watching Veronica Mars.

I intend to find out what that something else is this year. Not in an 'I will figure out my whole life' kind of way but more of a 'What is the next step?' kind of a way. A job perhaps. Working with dogs would be ideal. Living near dear people would be ideal. Which ones they are, I don't know. Or maybe I will live all alone in a completely new place. I just don't know. However: overall, I just want to be happy this year. And actually, just being happier than the PAST year would be sufficient.

I realize that I am incredibly blessed and that things could be much worse in my life. It has just taken me a long time to come to terms with some of the residual emotional gangrene 2007/2008 shoved down my throat. But 2009 can be different - will be. There is no job, boy, or other commitment in my life that holds me back from doing, well...anything I want this year. And lately, God has been teaching me that that is actually a pretty sanguine situation to be in.



Here's to 2009. Here goes everything.