But I am one of the world's most indecisive people. So how would I make a list of 'bests' anyway? I would surely get to the end of it only wringing my hands and wondering how long it would be until I would totally change my mind about many of the things listed or adding several new ones. And, I sort of don't like New Year's resolutions. Is it because they seem cliche to me? Or that the likelihood of me actually sticking to one for good is pretty slim? Does anyone stick to them, for that matter? You have to make it something that is realistic to accomplish to make it worthwhile...but then again you have to make it something challenging so it actually counts. Sometimes resolutions can be cheesy. And, a faint, quirky, defiant shred of something inside of me thinks that anyone should be able to make a resolution on any day of the year.
And yet in the +/-24 hours since New Year's happened, I have had some thoughts come to mind about the year 2009. Most of you know I have been beating my head against the wall for months, trying to figure out what the heck is next for Becca after school. That is, besides loan payments and watching Veronica Mars.
I intend to find out what that something else is this year. Not in an 'I will figure out my whole life' kind of way but more of a 'What is the next step?' kind of a way. A job perhaps. Working with dogs would be ideal. Living near dear people would be ideal. Which ones they are, I don't know. Or maybe I will live all alone in a completely new place. I just don't know. However: overall, I just want to be happy this year. And actually, just being happier than the PAST year would be sufficient.
I realize that I am incredibly blessed and that things could be much worse in my life. It has just taken me a long time to come to terms with some of the residual emotional gangrene 2007/2008 shoved down my throat. But 2009 can be different - will be. There is no job, boy, or other commitment in my life that holds me back from doing, well...anything I want this year. And lately, God has been teaching me that that is actually a pretty sanguine situation to be in.
Here's to 2009. Here goes everything.
4 comments:
BEX! so i hate hate hate that we haven't formulated multiple hang outs this break. its been busy. i go back to work MONDAY, but any day this week i should be good for coffee/dinner/etc. maybe even rachel could come.
I love love love that someone just called "Bex"
Ooo.
Well, I'm not normally a sermon-passer-onner, but last Sunday's at Bethany would pack a punch, if that's where you're at.
http://churchbcc.org/sermon-series/the-first-year-of-the-rest-of-your-life-stewardship/
2008 was some emotional gangrene for me too. :( Here's to the worst being behind us...!
karlz - i am so glad we got to sit across the table from each other on whatever day that was! monday?
tory - i love you.
greta - i like that the letters in your name almost spell 'great'. and, i am sort of embarassed that a great writer such as yourself looks/looked at my blog. because, well, obviously it's not full of too many deep thoughts. but thank you for the sermon! i'll be sure to listen to it. and i definitely pray your 2009 is MUCH better than 2008.
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