Monday, March 16, 2009

Awake My Soul And Sing

Blog neglect? I think so.

Between packing, last-minute socializing, and being sick, I have not been present enough to post much. I think by now, all of you know that I am moving. To Colorado. In about four more days.

What the heck, you might ask? I think I am asking myself the same question. Along with:

-How did I get this job?
-Is this the right thing to be doing?
-Will my Kansas friends forget all about me?
-Will I make enough money to survive?
-Do I have what it takes to start over again???
etc. etc.

My soul is in a battle of conflicted emotions. Happy I will be back in my favorite state. Excited to live near my best friend for the first time in 6 years. Scared to live on my own. Nervous to start a new job, a real job. Sad to leave what has become a home over the last several years. Nostalgic when taking pictures down off of my walls and packing them up for what feels like the thousandth time. Thankful that Gabe is around to be my co-pilot. Heartbroken to leave my church...and also to watch my family be scattered across the miles. Hopeful for the new adventure. Sick to my stomach to say goodbye to friends once again. Holding my breath and hoping that my faith will be the thing to carry me through another big transition time.

As the day approaches, I get a little more fearful. I realize that not only am I moving out on my own again, but that I will not return home to my current house ever again. I've gotten spoiled being able to attend every family dinner and babysit my nephews on the weekend.

But I'm going anyway. I'm going to go. Grow. Learn. Maybe cry a little. But also experience the blessings of God no matter where I end up. And my gosh, I get to do it while breathing in that crisp Colorado air. I have no complaints about that.

4 comments:

~LB said...

kansas friends at least this one = not mad but so happy for you. We will visit and be friends from a distance once again we can do it we've done it before

Han said...

Colorado! I am jealous... **sigh**

You will have to tell me about this new job! It sounds like quite an adventure... but I know you will be OK. :O)

Yay for how brave you are!

Unknown said...

ugh, i know, i know, this is what you're SUPPOSED to do, but that doesn't make it any less sad!

meg said...

I am so very excited for you Becca and extremely, extremely jealous.