Thursday, January 31, 2008

Sooo this might make me a lame person...

but I am soooo excited that LOST is returning tonight!!!

And also very SAD that I do not have a TV in the vicinity that even has ABC. Yay dog training school.

Just as well, because I have a final to study for. It's my last test until I am a free trainer!! Woot!

Saturday, January 26, 2008

One Week More!

It's so hard to believe I only have one more week here at Triple Crown. I think I am ready to move on though. I've learned a lot, grown a lot, and had some very interesting experiences, but certain aspects have definitely started to wear on me.

Maybe it's the waking up while it's still dark aspect.
Or the kennel duty aspect.
Maybe the drama between classmates or even instructors.
Or the HAB's (huge-ass bugs, as Annie named them one time).
The humid weather at all times.
The lack of social stability.

The good parts have definitely been there too though.

Learning all sorts of cool things relative to dogs.
Watching Gabe learn. Seriously, have you ever seen a dog learn? Like, literally WATCHED it? It's soo cool! I suppose that is probably how parents feel about their kids. Well, he is my kid.
Being a student, one last time.
Driving a truck on gravel, muddy roads through fields of cows.
Having several great visitors throughout my time here.

Those are just a recap of some of the stuff that has gone on here. Part of me wishes I would have had more time while being here to actually write about things that happened, but we seriously have stayed sooo busy. Which has been good in a lot of ways.

What is next for me? I'm moving to Kansas City, for starters. Even though I have lived there in the 'off seasons' of life for the past 4 years, this is like my official move there, at least for now. I hope to get a job working with dogs right away, but we'll see what is available. I'll get to play with Micah and the Leej though, and I'll still have lots of dogs around me at home :), not to mention a very loving and supportive family. Hopefully, some new friends will be made through church pretty soon after I get there too.

Speaking of friends, this week is special because I know four GREAT people with birthdays in the last three days.
Sara Colon from UNC on the 24th - she is so sweet and we are surrogate sisters :)
Grady DeBruin from Montrose on the 25th - the best neighbor and the token redhead my parents never had!
Emily Clader and Debbie Turner today - my bestie. Enough said. And my wonderful voice teacher from Montrose who has just as big of a heart for dogs as Emily and I.

I am reminded on weeks like this when we celebrate people how BLESSED I am. God is so good, even if I tend to forget it from time to time.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

i don't want to grow up, i'm a toys r us kid

Every time that I think I have things figured out...or at least a little figured out...I don't.

On February 1st, I will graduate from Triple Crown. I have a Bachelor's in Psychology from UNC, I will be certified as a Pet Trainer and Behavior Specialist, and I have absolutely no clue where I am going. Or where I should be going.

I used to have lofty goals, working through school in three years and dreaming of living in the Northwest when I finished up. Today, I honestly don't know what I am headed towards. My friends live in Colorado. Annie in Nashville. The rest of my family in Kansas City. Is it even acceptable to base my decisions off of where the people I love reside? I feel like have no true ambition beyond that. Maybe it's because, for the past couple of years, I thought I had it figured out. I thought he was the reason for my decisions, and that was that. Maybe I jumped to conclusions. Maybe I moved too hastily. Maybe I can't base decisions off of other people.

To be 22 and feel like I am starting from ground zero...feels strangely surreal and overwhelming. Sure, other college graduates face the same thing as I do. But where is the direction in my life I so deeply desire? So much of me longs for the past. A familiar place to call home. A steady relationship to take comfort in. An ability to dream without putting a cap on it. I am scared. Scared of failure. Scared to go on without him. Scared that I will make the wrong decision. Scared to move forward.

Someday, I truly hope I can look back on this dark time of life and see how much I have grown because of it. As for today, I am grieving, I am living, and I am seeking.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

I suck...

at updating lately.

My grand total for December posts? 2. I wish I could say this is because I have a sparkling social life...but alas, I think I have just been either wrapped up with school things or driving across states. I am, after all, spending at least 62 hours in the car over my Christmas break.

I DO have some news about my business though. I have chosen to call it 'Tallyho Training Company'. For those of you who don't know, 'tallyho' is the word that my old 4-H leader taught us to use to release our dogs at the end of an exercise. It only seemed appropriate to incorporate it into something more permanent. So, good job Dad for suggesting it, and thank you to everyone else who gave their votes!

Happy New Year. And merry Christmas. I missed a couple holidays.

Back to school in three days. Then it's four uphill weeks til I am TOTALLY done with school. Forever. Help?