I sound like I have a mental disorder?

I don't know where home is any more. For real, I don't.

For years, Colorado was home. Namely, Montrose. And then big bad Kansas City came in and swooped up my family, tossing them about the country and making us cry like babies.

And then I moved back to Montrose. More crying.
And then I moved to Greeley, where I stayed for three years of college.
I spent summer and Christmas breaks in Kansas City during that time, looking forward to seeing my family and the few friends I had there, but always glad to get back to Colorado too.
And then I graduated. Probably some crying involved somewhere.
And then I lived in Kansas City over the summer.
Texas came next, but only for four months. Lots of crying there.
And then, it was back to Kansas City again. Followed by more crying.

I should mention that, throughout all of this chaos, I have had five driver's licenses. In seven years of driving. Stoopid.

I was probably more sad than ever to live here, but that had to do with a lot of other things. Like a hellish break up. And still not having very many friends. And not feeling confident about which direction my life was taking. Every plan that I had had up to that point was nowhere to be found.

But soon, six or eight months passed. And I fell in love with my church. And I could walk in to that building and run into lots of people who I knew there and they would greet me with smiles and hugs. And even though I would still often feel like a wall flower, it became a lot more obvious that I was part of a group, and in the loop. A part of me still longed for Colorado, but Kansas City was treating me well.

And then...I got a job. One that took me back to Colorado. Which was wonderful and awful all at once. Ironically, there was more crying when I moved back. And ever since being there, I have been so happy to be back in a familiar place. And to enjoy the beautiful weather and scenery. And to have ample time with the great friends I have made over the years. To make things even better, my parents also are moving out there, which means frequent visits.

The next part is that, after two months of living there, I quit my job. Which is again both wonderful and awful all at once. Because I am so happy to be done with that place, but also pretty much at a loss of what to do next. (But I'm not worried. At least not yet.)

Which brought me to taking a two week trip to Kansas City. Which brings me to my current thoughts. I was pretty much thrilled to be coming back to the place that had been so aversive to me for so long. And when I saw the 'sold' sign on my parents' house here in town, I was not 100% thrilled. It all seemed so backwards to me - was this not what I had been hoping for for years? I've only been gone for two months, so to be back here for an extensive visit basically tricks me into thinking that I never moved. That I have only been on a trip for a few months.

I don't regret moving. And I am still really glad my parents will both be out there soon. But I think I fell more in love with Kansas City than I once thought would ever be possible. HOW ARE THESE THOUGHTS COMING FROM MY HEAD???

It's sort of annoying not to have a home. But also sort of cool, because it means I love a bunch of different homes.

And also. I am glad that Colorado and Kansas hold hands. Because it makes it a lot easier to float between the two.