Catching my breath

Alright. I hate to sound like a complete downer but this week has been kind of ridiculous. Let's start with my drive back from KC.

I left Overland Park at about 8:20 AM. On mapquest, the trip is supposed to take 10 hours and 47 minutes. With a dog, I gave myself a generous 12 hours to get back to Hutto at a decent time. It ended up taking 14 and a half hours. Things went fine the first 3/4 of the trip. I made good time, Gabe was an angel, and things seemed to be going well. I even made it through Dallas/Fort Worth without much of a problem. However. When I got south of Fort Worth, kind of in the middle of nowhere, traffic came to a dead stop. It was so strange, and I even saw cars on an on-ramp going into reverse and flying backwards up the ramp. Not a good sign. So, Gabe and I rolled along for a while. Literally rolled. For the first hour, I remained fairly composed. But as the SECOND hour closed in on us, the sun went down, and I watched my precious potential hours of productivity and sleep slip away from me, I was not a happy person. Especially as I came to find out that the reason there were delays in the first place was that there was road construction, one of my least favorite things. Oh, and were they actually working on the roads at the time? Of course not. They just had all but one lane blocked off. That combined with Thanksgiving traffic made it a disaster.

So I made it through that finally, and by that time I was so hungry and needed to stop to let Gabe out too. I saw a sign for Quiznos and got excited since it's kind of rare to see one on a highway so I took that exit. I excitedly pulled into the parking lot, only to realize that I was in the wrong parking lot. I briefly considered driving over the median, but decided against it and found another way around. I pulled up to the front of the store and discovered it was CLOSED. Ugh. So, we continued on. Got back on I35 and took the next exit for a Subway. It said turn right at the light, so I did. The Subway was nowhere in sight, so I kept continuing down the road for quite some time. I finally saw it, only to realize that I was in the right lane, Subway was on the left, and there were about three lanes in between us. Needless to say, I missed that turn. I got turned back around and made it into the Subway parking lot. I got Gabe out to stretch his legs and found that there was no grass in sight and the poor guy had to go! We had to search for some and finally, all the way across the parking lot, we found some. I fed him after that and finally went inside to get something to eat and go to the bathroom. It was then that I was told that NEITHER of their bathrooms were working. I ordered my sandwich and then realized that the chicken one was the sandwich of the day, and like half the price of normal ones. I ordered turkey. Stupid.

Buttt I made it back in one piece. Eventually. It set me up for a very tired week, but things could have been worse I suppose. Unfortunately it was another testing week though, and Diamond and Gabe decided bombing a few things was a good idea. I was contemplating setting them free to be wild dogs yesterday but all in all I suppose we pulled through it ok. It's just so hard when my grades are dependent on entirely independent beings!

The biggest thing of the week is the loss of my Grandpa H. I didn't get to say goodbye, I didn't get to see him much in the last several years. I can't really believe he is even gone. But it was time. I am glad he isn't in pain any more. And I am also glad that I get to honor his life at his funeral this weekend. So many things about him will stand out about him for the rest of my life. Things that will make me miss him. I certainly am glad he is now in a better place though. From what I hear, life on the other side isn't full of downers.

It's Good to be Home

Micah: Hey Becca, guess how old I am!
Me: Hmmm, 12?
Micah: Noooo!
Me: Oh no, well how old are you?
Micah: I am SORRY Becca, but I am NOT three any more. I am FOUR.

Our stove Is broken so Dad made mashed potatoes on the Coleman stove out on the deck. Love it.

It's like less than 30 degrees here. Amazing! Freezing.

Even though it might be cliche to say, I have so much to be thankful for. It was perfect to be with my whole family today, to have a break from school, and even get to have Gabe here. We had everything we could want to eat and more, sat in a warm house, and got to laze around using wireless internet on our very own computers in our very own rooms. We watched a movie on satellite on one of our several TVs, and talked and laughed because we love each other and get along. God is so good to me.

I'm so glad I get a few more days here before heading back to the grindstone. I know it will feel all too soon but it has already been worth it to be here.

Texas: The Good, the Bad, the Ugly

As I close in on 8 weeks here in Texas and the halfway point of my school program, I think a list is due to discuss the pro's and con's of this state.

Let's start with the bad:

1. The bugs. Honestly, if you thought the bugs where you live are bad...you have not seen anything until you've lived in the south. I killed a SCORPION in my house a few days ago. Yeah, that's right. Gabe found it first, was trying to play with it, but thankfully didn't get close enough to get stung. I, not knowing how to best kill a scorpion, could only grab my tennis shoe and slam that nasty thing. Forcefully, and many times. It was so gross, people!

2. The lack of seasons. It is currently STILL hitting the 80's 6 days out of 7 here. And it's almost Thanksgiving. Furthermore, it's almost December! My favorite season of Fall seems to have been skipped altogether. Summer here is hottest, then comes 'Winter' which is...hot. Also, the tree leaves don't change. Except to brown.

3. Humidity. And I thought KC was bad.

4. Gas prices. For being so known for its oil wells, Texas sure isn't cutting any breaks for its inhabitants to fill up.

There are some good things too:

1. The skies. Texas has the most beautiful sunsets and sunrises! I happen to be awake for both these days. It's very open and the clouds are always just right to catch the color of the sun on them.

2. Uh...um...I...Austin is cool. Too bad I can't go there more.

3. Gabe is here.

I think I'm in the wrong state.

Don't worry, I am doing alright overall. But I would be very thankful to live in the West in the future. : )

Sweet Gabe

Is he cute, or is he cute? This was from Pet Fest a few weeks ago. The kissing booth was actually so dogs would kiss people, but Gabe and his good friend Pixxie shared a moment here. : )

We have today off from our classes. It is very welcomed by me, and we have just 7 class days left before Thanksgiving and our halfway point in the program. I am so ready to make a trip home, to get away from here and have a change. Overall, it really seems like the time here has passed quickly. Paradoxically (is that a word?) it feels like the weeks have just dragged on and on since the break up.

I made a trip down to San Antonio on Saturday night to meet up with Spencer. It was a highly anticipated time for me, although I felt a lot of mixed emotions going into it. A lot of you have been anxiously awaiting news of how it went. I think I myself am still processing it to a certain extent. Am I glad I went? Yes. Was it super hard? Yes. Was there some kind of new revelation or definitive conclusion from it? I'm not really sure. This whole process is going to have to be something that takes a lot of time. Seven weeks has felt like excessive time to me as it is. I am extremely weary from the long, hard journey it's been thus far. I long for an easier path, but I'm not sure that is even an option at this point.

From what I could gather, he is going in the direction he should be and he seemed authentic about that. I was encouraged to hear about his progress. We exchanged some very meaningful words to each other, things that will stick with me forever. At the very same time, I am having to work very hard to guard my heart and to not put myself in a place where I will be hurt all over again. It was over all too quickly, and I was very broken as I pulled away from the venue they were playing at that night. Ever since I got back up to school, I have felt an overwhelming feeling of loss and missing him. He truly is one of my best friends, someone who played a role in my life that no one else has. Even if he has made some mistakes that have literally shattered my world, I cannot shake the way I care about him. Sometimes I almost wish I could just get pissed off, that I could be angry and harden myself to the situation. But God has truly kept my heart soft overall, and I think it is miraculous. I was reading in Romans today and came across a passage I have read many times before but really noticed today.

"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. On the contrary:
"If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head."
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."

It really struck home for me today. It paints such a vivid picture for what our lives should be modeled after. The things Spencer is facing right now really are between him and God. I just hope to be someone who can walk beside him in this time.

Why don't you throw me to the wolves?
Already left me in the cold
In a desolate place.
I invited you to run to a place where you'd be done,
You ran the other way.

Just Me and My Dad

This past week, I got to spend parts of 4 days with my Dad.

It was such a fun time, and it was so uplifting to have someone familiar and close come to visit. We got to eat out at a few local restaurants, walk by a river down in Austin, be entertained by the world's cutest dog (that's Gabe), watch some agility, and he bought me a multitude of groceries that I will be enjoying for days to come. It was a lifegiving visit and I was so thankful 1. that he came out here and 2. for the person he is.

We share our love for dogs and I was thrilled he got a glimpse into what my life is like here. The time went by all too quickly but we both agreed that Thanksgiving is going to be here before we know it. I just happen to forget that fact a lot when the Texas weather still leads me to believe that it could be August!

Hopefully his time away from KC was a breather for him too. He puts in long days like me, only he has to spend them with people and I get to play with doggies. You be the judge of who has it tougher...

I was sad to see him go, but this week will stay a sweet memory of the time I am spending in Texas. Gabe and I miss you already, Dad! Oh, and Diamond too - they made friends fast :)

Thank you

Thanks to everyone who made my birthday special - I love you all and will return those phone calls and/or emails once things calm down a little more and I have some time. You're all great. xoxo