Lately I have been involved in several situations that have left me wondering if I am a horrible communicator. I know I'm not a blunt person, and I severely dislike being at odds with someone/confrontation...but I am capable of stepping up to the challenge when I absolutely have to. It's just that recently, I have had to wrestle with the question of whether I am the poor communicator, or if the recipient of my words is a poor listener.
Which reminds me of my time living here 'for real' in KC. More wrestling, in this case wondering if I am the most awkward person ever to meet/not trying hard enough to fit in and make it here, or if it really is just that hard to start over and break into other people's social circles. I've said this before, and I'll say it again - I have met a lot of really great people here. They are kind and have great hearts. There is just something tough about taking a friendship past the small talk on Sundays or at work. And I won't lie; sometimes it sounds a whole lot safer and easier and better to just stop trying and succumb to a life of sedentary solitude. Or perhaps go so far as to move away, back to familiarity and significant relationships I have already established.
I'm not writing this for pity. I am not writing this as a guilt trip to others or anything like that. It's just that sometimes, it's good to write my thoughts out. Good for tracking progress, and good for accomplishing some sort of rationale in my thoughts. Plus it's just so trendy to blog. I'm pretty good at making internet friends too (hence my trip to the Northwest in LESS THAN TWO WEEKS!) so this can only aid that area in my life.
Oh, and for my good friends out there, near or far, internet or non-internet...I'm thankful for you.
7 comments:
It is so hard to get past that small talk phase post college. I feel your pain! Hang in there. You're super cool, and people like you ;-)
I'm really glad you're here. And I think we should make a point to hang out in the very near future. I mean, we're now not only ONLINE friends--we're FACEBOOK friends. And that means it's legit.
...And I'm not just saying that so my name pops up on your fab blog.
I vote down for the solitary confinement of no friends that just sucks
miss you becca
I think you were good at both deep and shallow (fun) conversations. So don't give up- I'd agree with Laura- people LIKE YOU! Just chalk it up to a dry spell... I think we all get lots of those in life. :O)
the first paragraph made me laugh a little inside. i hope you get all of that figured out. i could give you a little kindergarten advice since that is where i spend the majority of my life these days...just let me know. i'm ready for the weekend - let's hang.
Your blog turned all fall-ish. Orangey yellow brown color. Too bad it's still hellacious here in Nashvegas (which, actually, I refuse to call it... why did I just type that out?)
I know we've talked about this, but I totally know how you feel, and I am glad you blogged about it. LOVE YOU! and so glad you joined twitter!! :)
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