Winners

I feel like I talk about Starbucks too often. And many times in a pretty negative fashion. But when that's where I spend a good deal of my time, that's where a lot of my stories are going to stem from. I doubt that anyone cares, but I thought I would give some awards today for various titles that employees or customers have achieved.

1. The Nastiest Drink Ever Award: goes to the woman who ordered this - A venti quad shot TEN PUMP BREVE white mocha. If you don't understand what that means, let me break it down for you. Venti is the biggest size at Starbucks. It's 20 ounces (and here's a free fact for you: 'venti' is the Italian word for 20). Normally it gets two shots of espresso and five pumps of whichever syrup you choose. White mocha happens to be the sweetest syrup we have. Breve is steamed half and half; the Starbucks standard recipe uses two percent milk normally. That drink was topped off with whipped cream also, as if it couldn't get any worse. A co-worker of mine decided to replicate this drink on a different day just so we could try it for ourselves - I pretty much felt my teeth decompose on the spot as I took one sip. SO NASTY.

2. My Least Favorite Customer Ever Award: this one is going to have to be a tie. First we have the man who, with a smile on his face, told me the other day that the store I work in was the worst store he had ever been in. As if I wasn't taken off guard by this statement in the first place (his drink was just like he asked for it and not delayed at ALL), his reasoning for the complaint was that 'every time' he came into the store, there were always 'people talking behind the counter.' Well? We are humans. We do talk to one another and we are friends. Also, was I talking to anyone behind the counter when you walked up? That's right, the answer is no. So why are you telling me instead of the people who were talking? And why are you smiling while telling me this? And most importantly, WHY ARE YOU HERE? If it's so bad, I encourage you to go elsewhere. Seriously!

My other least favorite customer is the man who ordered a tall coffee on Voting Day. Starbucks had a deal running where anyone who voted would get a tall coffee for free. Now, I guess the way it was supposed to work was that the customer had to have a sticker and proudly show it and ask for their coffee. I will admit, he didn't do that. But I felt bad charging him for his drink if he had voted and just didn't know about the special deal. So I asked him: "Sir, did you vote today?" Man with a stick up his ass: "That's none of your business." Me: "Oh. Well...the only reason I ask is because, if you did, I can give you your coffee for free today." MWASUHA: "Well that's still none of your business." Me: "Ok...then that will be $1.67." And what I would have liked to have added: "Your defensive nature tells me you didn't vote anyway, so nice try keeping that a secret. Have a Patriotic day."

3. The Grossest Task of All Time Award: has got to be cleaning the drains at Starbucks. Seriously. Four drains, all of which receive gifts from various stations behind the counter. A few words come to mind: Curdled milk residue. Murky water. Stale stench. Stray milk caps. BIOHAZARD. I don't think my description does this job justice. I stand up after cleaning, lightheaded. Could be the chemicals I am cleaning with, or it could be the filth I am bringing my face within inches of.

4. The Best Co-Worker Award: My friend Murad! He truly is awesome. Grew up in Jordan, now goes to UMKC and is working on his master's. I don't know how he functions, because he always gets about 2-4 hours of sleep before coming in to work. I've never seen him in a bad mood, however, and customers have commented about how well he makes drinks. Additionally some of the stuff he says makes me laugh so hard.

Such as this morning. I brought out a box of Red Velvet Cupcakes to put into the case. Murad: "I think those ones are a little shy." Me: "What? Shy? What?" Murad: "Yes, look at them, they are a little red!" BAHAHA.

Or yesterday as a co-worker who is a good deal bigger than me stepped backwards right as I was passing behind them, I was more or less shoved into the counter and then continued on my way, trying to stay composed. Murad came up and whispered "You were like a shaken iced tea just now." HAHA! Composure was all gone at that point.

He has texted me more than once to say "Hey you, it was sucks when you left today." Probably my favorite phrase of all time. "It was sucks."

I could go on and on with awards. But I'll spare you for now. If anything can top these, I will just have to come back to update the list from time to time.

Compare and Contrast

Current musts:

1. Special K with Red Berries. I could eat this every morning of my life, I think.
2. Palmer's Cocoa Butter Lotion. It smells fantastic and moisturizes so well!
3. Air fresheners. I love it when my room and my car smell good. And Yankee Candle and Febreeze make some great ones.
4. My camera. I am going to have to buy a whole new computer just to hold pictures that I take, I'm pretty sure. I'm fobsessed.
5. My Oral B Vitality. It's an electric toothbrush. At first I hated it, but now I really like it. It basically polishes my teeth and is a lot less harsh on my gums. Now when I use a normal toothbrush it feels odd.
6. Iced double tall soy caramel macchiatos with sugar free vanilla and light caramel. I'm allowed to get it because I can make it for myself. Undecided if I will order such a train wreck of a drink order when I don't work at Starbucks any more.
7. Burt's Bees chapstick. It is the best.
8. Puppies. There is pretty much nothing better in the whole world than playing with puppies.
9. Wearing my black pajama pants to work. No one has noticed yet - in fact, if I wear those pants and a camisole to bed, then slip a polo shirt on over the top in the morning, it's like I never really had to get out of my pajamas!
10. Walks with Gabe. There's nice weather, and I have two healthy feet again.
11. Sale racks. I will forever be in love.

Current must nots:

1. Drama. Never.
2. Passive aggression. MEHHH.
3. People who talk too much and listen not enough.
4. Customers that tell me their negative opinion of Starbucks or the particular store I work in while I am in the middle of getting their order met. Talk to the manager. Talk to corporate. Or shut the bleep up and go open your own perfect coffee shop. And never talk to me again. Last time I checked, no one was FORCING people to drink Starbucks in general, let alone from any particular location. And, 9 and a half times out of 10 I am not actually responsible for whatever it is that they are unhappy about.**
5. Gas prices almost at 2 dollars again.
6. Expensive purses. It's not so much that I am against them. But I literally don't understand them. It's a purse. It will get filled with gum wrappers and receipts and pens. And you wouldn't want people wanting to steal your name-brand purse that much more. And you can find ones that look nice that aren't so expensive. Right? I guess I could be totally wrong about that. But that's my observation.

I am limiting my negative list so that it is shorter than the positive list. Should I have started with the bad one so that things ended on a happier note?

**If I am responsible for it, I apologize for it and make it right. I can get you examples if you are dying to know.

Puppy Love

I finally had a little photography lesson with my darling sister in law Ashley yesterday. And that lesson has brought on various thoughts and feelings.

1. My camera is capable of much. So much.
2. I am so inexperienced, and I will only get better if I practice.
3. I am excited to practice.
4. Let's face it. Gabe will be the subject of many photo shoots.

So I started practicing last night.

Before I got the settings right...





...and then a little bit better!