Rotten Apple

Well, July has certainly not been the most lucrative blog month for me. Lately, that has been due to the fact that my computer suddenly CRASHED on Friday night. As in, wouldn't even turn on any more. Rotten. Like this.

I took it in to the Apple store on Sunday between work and church. And how inconvenient that the location nearest my house was completely booked - I got to drive 30 minutes-ish to get an appointment. But anyway, the guy who helped me let me know that the logic board was pretty much done for. Whatever that means. I knew it wasn't good though. It required a send off of my Macbook, and the signing of a waiver acknowledging that I may receive my computer back (within seven days, at least) that would contain nothing reminiscent to anything previously on it. Simply put, there was a risk that I would lose everything on my computer. And there was no backing up the information either, seeing as I could not even get the thing to turn on. As I gave my permission for Apple to take my computer and do some serious surgery on it, I felt like 'that person', struck with the cliche of 'Man, this is so silly how much we rely on technology. Sooner or later it's just going to FAIL us! What has this world come to?' (Simultaneously kicking myself in the ass for not backing up things more frequently.)

Anyway. A FedEx man showed up with my computer yesterday morning, and I eagerly opened the box. Pressed the power button, and it turned on like old times. But then I was asked to register it and fill out all these information boxes. Kind of like...when you get a brand. new. computer. My heart kind of sank as I realized that not only had the logic board been replaced, but the hard drive as well. Every picture, every song, every document, every setting on my Macbook - gone. Along with a piece of my heart!

It was as if the person who fixed my computer somehow knew of my loss, however, and they threw in a few 'bonuses' for me. For instance, I now have the Leopard Operating system, which I did not have before. And, the small crack in the plastic body of the computer is no longer there, meaning they gave my Mac a cosmetic face lift as well. I'm not sure I was supposed to receive either of those things for free, but I will take it.

That being said, I am now shopping around for external hard drives, and I recommend that you all get one as well. That is my word of wisdom for everyone I have ever known.

Because this kills me.

I have watched it at least 50 times I think. And I mean, the kid is ok, so it's acceptable to laugh, right?

Furthermore, did the game of Mousetrap work this well for anyone at any point in time?

Cocoa butter is next to godliness.

Let's see. An update on my day(s) perhaps?

One thing I don't know that I will ever get used to is the lack of schedule consistency in working a job like Starbucks. Wake up at 4 am today? Sure. Don't come in to work at all tomorrow? Great. That sort of schedule does have its perks. Work is less likely to become mundane, perhaps. Er, well the hours at least. But it also makes it so difficult to ever fall asleep at the right time, or wake up at the right time. I guess that's why they sell coffee - so I can drink it to survive my job.

We have dog flu going around our house. That is, we keep having dogs throw up, and unless we catch them doing it, we don't know which one has it. Gabe has definitely had it in the past two days though. So, I have forced him to eat nothing but rice for the time being. Does that help? I don't know. But it's bland and gentle on the stomach. I am well-prepared for motherhood, I'd say.

I am the worst unpacker ever. I started to put everything away after the trip, but my suitcase still is laying in the middle of my room, a few random clothing items on top of it. Why do I do this?

It is safe to say that I look/feel disgusting 90% of the time lately. Between the aforementioned work schedule (not to mention my line of work - barista and dog-wrangler? dream on, good hair days), lack of social agenda, and sticky, humid weather, the chances of my feeling 'put together' at any given time are slim to none. Which honestly is probably ok. I'm just warning you.

How can you not love his crimp and blondeness?

I'm a Rookie at Living

I had such a good time in Colorado that I ended up taking a blog sabbatical. That probably does not make you upset, but if it does, I apologize.

I met new friends, visited with old ones, and really had more life restored to me in the time there than I have felt in a long time. It makes me homesick for that state and the precious relationships I have there. And of course the weather was glorious too. Growing up there caused me to totally take it for granted. I always liked it, but I never was amazed by it. I definitely am amazed by it now. Nowhere comes close to Colorado in my life, no matter how hard I try to tell myself otherwise.

There is such a contrast between being on vacation and going back to normal life. While I was away, I played. All day long. Ate good food. Laughed. Danced for hours at a wedding. (with Chelsea Clinton, by the way). Blasted music while in transit between destinations. Stayed up late and woke up not late enough. Stretched every day to fit in as much as I could. Spent time outside. Caught up with people I hadn't seen in months or even years. Made new memories and inside jokes.

Unfortunately, this morning that all came to an end. I went to sleep at 12:30, woke up at 4, and was at work by 5. Work wasn't all that bad, but I would definitely prefer not to be required there. The free lattes are even losing their ability to entice me. Furthermore, it's frustrating to me to feel like I fit and 'belong' in one place, but wonder if I will ever feel at home in another. After a year of wonderment and wandering, it's starting to be difficult to hold out hope for some aspects of my life.

I don't want to live this way forever. Merely tolerating each day and feeling so shut down on the inside. There is an intersection I have been approaching for a while, but I'm not sure which turn I will be making yet, or if I will make one at all. It's become apparent, however, that I am not as healthy as I could/should be, and I probably need to do something about that sooner than later.

It seems like nothing I am typing really makes sense, but that is where I am at right now. Nothing makes sense. And I sort of hate writing about it here. But feel compelled to anyway. Maybe someday I'll be able to read back on it and realize how silly I was to feel so lost.