about a girl

Free Tilly?

2010-07-09T23:34:00.003-05:00

This is a long article. But, it's a super interesting topic that is in the middle of an increasingly heated ethical debate. What can I say?* I am fascinated by whales, and fascinated by training. What I'm not sure I care for is theme parks putting the two together to make a fortune.

*Apparently I cannot say much, as I am being a total blog cheater and letting the article do the talking rather than doing any myself. But seriously. Read it.

In the past several weeks...

2010-06-14T18:07:00.003-05:00

...Gabe has:

1. Eaten an entire chocolate cake (yes, the entire thing), resulting in a trip to the emergency vet, which then resulted in two shaved front legs (for where they had to use IV's on him).
2. Gashed his eyebrow open on a picnic table at the dog park while he was rallying every single other dog to chase him (read: showing off. Typical). Just another hairless spot to match his poor leggies.
3. Gotten sick in the middle of the night, causing me to rush him to the bathroom (since I didn't know if we could make it upstairs and outside in time), and watch him puke in the shower, then PASS OUT. Literally. He stiffened up and fell into the shower wall. I was freaking out.

I recently read that an intelligent dog can learn about 250 words. That's about the same as a 2-year-old child. I think it is safe to say that Gabe qualifies as the equivalent of a human toddler in more ways than one. Just thought you should know.

Lately I Have Wondered...

2010-05-21T09:41:00.002-05:00

...how to weigh out what is most important.

How important is place? Or maybe, how important should we let it be?

If I have some of my most steadfast, deep relationships in one place, but a vocational calling in another place, how do I decide what is most important?

I'm inclined to put the relationships first. But, when I do, I still have a yearning to find my 'calling' in life. My own personal story. To find out how I can be fulfilled and use the gifts and/or education God has blessed me with. We are called to invest in others and love well while we have time on this Earth. And yet, we are also called to respond to God's orchestrating in our lives and to acknowledge the individuality he has created in each of us. This looks different for every person...how should it look for me?

No matter what, I lose something.
No matter what, I will slip and fall.
No matter what, I will grow.

I don't know if I should feel more comforted or more uneasy that there may not be a black and white right or wrong choice in this situation. But, change is inevitable, one way or the other. And, maybe because every season is fleeting, I just need to get 100% better at living in the moment.

My Quirks

2010-05-08T01:32:00.000-05:00

1. I follow certain high-profile cases on the news really closely. One time, I read an entire book about the JonBenet Ramsey case. Lately, I have been anxious to learn more about the case of Dawn Brancheau.

2. I hate soggy paper. It just grosses me out. If you drop a napkin in a glass of water, I will squirm.

3. Ke$Ha's voice might as well be nails on a chalkboard. I cannot stand her 'music', and if you don't believe how bad she is, you need to watch this.

4. I dislike over-matching.

5. There may not be a bigger baby than me in the world when it comes to hot, humid weather. God didn't create me with that DNA.

A Confession

2010-04-28T15:24:00.003-05:00

I have a confession to make.

A lot of times, when people talk about 'right-wing' or 'left-wing' in regards to politics, I have to scramble to remember which one is which. Maybe because I, to this day, remain unaffiliated from any one party.

But never fear.

A fad of the past known as Beanie Babies has helped me avoid complete forgetfulness. As a kid, a good friend of mine bought Lefty the Donkey, even though it made her a little uneasy that he was the symbol of Democrats. But, he was just a lot cuter than the Elephant, Righty.

Ladies and gentleman, I give you Righty and Lefty:

Because what could be a better mnemonic device than a stuffed animal?

And they said this fad would die out. Not quite. Not quite yet.

My True Talent: Dragging My Feet.

2010-04-18T00:08:00.002-05:00

Hey.

I kind of miss this blog. I've been doting more on this one lately, but maybe this one still could serve a purpose too.

You probably don't bother checking it any more. Neither do you. Or you.

But, that's ok. I sort of want to nurse blog back to health, audience or no audience.

Instead of summarizing the entire year of 2010 so far, I will just tell you a little about this current moment.

My degree has proved to be pretty non-helpful. I'm supposed to find a career. There are so few careers that will have me.

My vocation is working with dogs. There is no way I can deny that. But, I have to figure out if my vocation will be the same thing as my occupation or not. Would I love to own my own business? Yes. And no. I think the answer would be yes if I knew a single thing about business. Or if I had money to start one.

And, do I have something relevant and helpful to offer the dog-owning/loving world? It's possible...but I like to tell myself otherwise. God didn't craft me to be a very natural risk-taker. Or a person who has a ton of confidence to try things and make mistakes and keep going. There is a battle raging on inside of my soul; one side beating my little, weak, dim hopes into submission, and the other daring me to fight back by just doing something.

Emo maybe? Hopefully not. It's actually the truth. And, if there is one crucial thing I have learned this year, it's that being transparent with others may be uncomfortable, but it's so necessary. Ew, I don't even like admitting to admit that. There I go, being honest again.

In conclusion, I hope nobody reads this. Just kidding. But seriously.

If you have an extra hour or so...

2009-09-26T11:46:00.004-05:00

I highly recommend watching this! I heard about this documentary in 'Bark' magazine, but then forgot about it until I stumbled across it on the internet. It is quite an eye-opening look at the world of purebred dogs and some of the sobering health issues arising due to inbreeding and the irresponsibility/greed of some breeders and owners.

I'm not trying to be an extremist by sharing this video. Most of you know I own a mixed breed and he is the greatest dog ever. But, this is not to say that I dislike purebred dogs, think they are all unhealthy, or think that no one should own one. However, it is the responsibility of all dog owners or potential owners to do their homework before getting a dog of any kind. Furthermore, it is the responsibility of breeders to bring dogs into this world only for the bettering of the breed - not to cut a profit, to selfishly build up their ego, or produce dogs focusing strictly on appearance. What matters most is that a dog, whether purebred or mixed breed, fits well with its owner and lives a long, full life. And as a dog owner, trainer, and devotee, it is my responsibility to help educate people on the pros and cons of having a dog of any kind.

If these issues interest you at all, please watch each segment of the video and contemplate just how serious things could get regarding the welfare of dogs everywhere. The video may present a pretty bleak, pessimistic outlook on the situation, but even if you think it is exaggerated, it is better to be informed than ignorant.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

someone just tell me to delete my blog. srsly.

2009-08-28T01:30:00.003-05:00

i thought i was ready to go to sleep. guess i was wrong.

the end.

what i have learned...

2009-08-26T14:33:00.002-05:00

...in my first week as a nanny.

1. six year olds will always beat you at the memory game. always.
2. getting paid to jump on the trampoline, play board games, watch 'high school musical', and read stories is quite a good deal.
3. my girls are much better company than the average customer at some kind of store.
4. 3rd grade homework is blissful. kindergarten homework is even better.
5. spaghetti-o's are a gift to mankind.
6. always check homework.
7. the ability to contort one's body into inhuman shapes is helpful when playing hide and seek.

Blog Ignorer

2009-08-22T13:09:00.003-05:00

That's what I am. A blog ignorer.

But it's really good. Because it means I have had other things to do and I have been having fun doing them.

I live with cool roommates. Three girls and two guys and Gabe, currently the first place dog in the contest!! (Keep up the votes until September 10th!)

I got a job that I am starting on Monday as a nanny for two little girls. It's definitely a blessing and a provision. Plus I get nights and weekends off - WHEN HAVE I EVER HAD A JOB LIKE THAT, YOU GUYS?

Zoe's is a coffee shop we are helping get off the ground and running in the next few weeks. (It looks so good inside).

It's almost fall. And that is never a bad thing.

I am making some new friends and reconnecting with the old ones.

My parents live close enough that I can make a weekend visit if I want.

A lot of people wrinkle their nose and scratch their heads when I tell them that I moved BACK here. And sometimes I wonder the same thing. But mostly this place holds a special place in my life. I like the simplicity of this life. I like the down to earth nature of this place. I like that not every luxury is available and at my finger tips. I like being a part of bringing new life back to an old place, and I like the people I am working alongside. Lately, when I am asked how I feel about Jesus right now, I just say 'thankful' and 'blessed'. Because both are so true.

VOTE FOR GABE!

2009-08-18T17:17:00.002-05:00

I am sorry that you have to make a stinking account to be able to vote, but I would really appreciate it if you have the time! Everyone is allowed one vote per day, so I think we could easily win if we got a crew of people to pull for Gabe. We could win free training classes and some food/treats!

Rotten Apple...AGAIN

2009-08-05T10:27:00.003-05:00

For the second time in its short two-year lifespan, my computer ate it. As in, won't turn on and probably will be completely wiped clean by Apple, ate it. Last time, it was a fried logic board. This incident was eerily similar in nature, so maybe I'm dealing with the same thing again. I am still quite the fan of Apple, but really? Twice in two years? Does anyone else have such luck? (Or should I say lack thereof...)

I will survive. I can deal with not checking my email from my bed, or watching a movie as I go to sleep. I'll get over not being able to edit pictures for a while. But you guys. MY RESUME IS ON THAT COMPUTER. And I need a job. EORTIJLFGJDSLJKFSLDJFKSALDFJKAS

Sometimes, all we can do is suck it up and wait. I have a roof over my head, friends to live and laugh with, and the world's greatest dog. I think that all makes a computer seem a little less important.

grumpy old woman

2009-07-19T16:21:00.004-05:00

i thought of a form of torture last night.

1. have someone sleep in a very hot bedroom. top floor of the house, no ac, just one window to open. (make sure said room faces the street outside.)
2. release stupid, white, drunk, immature, disrespectful college kids into the street outside. wait for the yelling to commence. (best if person in hot room has just drifted off to sleep when the yelling starts.)
3. allow it to continue for an extended period of time.
4. watch as sleep becomes impossible.

i couldn't have thought this one up on my own - you have to experience it to believe it.

2009-07-17T19:31:00.002-05:00

why is it more hot inside my house than outside? this may motivate me to spend a lot more time outside.

minus the army of mosquitoes unleashing its fury after a very wet spring.

ok. now that i got that off of my chest, i would like to say that i am glad to finally be on the last leg of my journey since unemployment. in a few weeks, i won't have another move hanging over my head. i won't live out of a suitcase. i might even have a bed! i won't be a sub-leaser any more. some stability will be nice.

i will, however, be 'that' girl - the one looking for a job. or at least some sort of odd jobs to piece together. anything to pay the bills. and no, hypothetical employer - just because i have a lip piercing does not mean you should discriminate against me or think that i am a bad worker. i just don't understand that philosophy at all.

looking forward to living back in that sleepy town.
serving a church.
living with a dear friend and hopefully making a few more.
not throwing my money down a landlord's drain.
and eating at pita pit - whenever i want.

it's gonna be good.

if i was something found in a household, it would probably be a lazy susan.

2009-07-11T20:30:00.003-05:00

Well, it took me a while. A long while. But after almost two months of being unemployed, I think I am finally reaching the point of 'I do not want to live out of a suitcase any more.' And also, 'I want to stay in one place for a while.' (aka longer than a few weeks here and there). I might even be ready to look for a job again. And even contemplate the option of GOING BACK TO SCHOOL. Sick. But good. Stay tuned for more on that matter.

On the other hand, my current lifestyle is wonderfully conducive to a day of recovery from all the travel. I feel embarassed even admitting this, but here is what today looked like:

11:00 am - woke up.
12:30 pm - went back to bed.
3:30 pm - woke up. Had lunch.
4:00 pm - watched 'The O.C.' and talked to sweet Tory.
5:00 pm - fed the dogs. Uploaded FAILs to Facebook. Drank coffee.
6:30 pm - talked to sweet Megan.

and now, here I am. Still unshowered, starting to feel somewhat awake, and doing laundry. I would be lying if I said I didn't feel guilty for having a day like this. But then again, what else would I be doing? Ok. Showering might be one option.

Anyway, I am looking forward to having some sort of settled feeling in a month or so. To be challenged. And molded. And invested in something worthwhile.

That's all really.

For now, I am hanging out with my doggies. It brings an amazing amount of contentment.

tourist

2009-07-08T13:37:00.002-05:00

as we walk down the street in juneau alaska, a woman pops out from an alley way, beckoning for the man standing behind her to come forward.

'see? i told you. white. WHITE.'

all while pointing at my legs.

uh...lookin's for free. touchin's gonna cost you.

i looked like an eskimo when i was born...

2009-07-01T14:21:00.003-05:00

This week. The cruise is finally here.

The best vacation I never earned.

The goods:

I will practice my picture taking.
I will always look for whales.
I will have a drink for the first time with my baby sister.
I will enjoy my family.
I will finally get to see a place I have always wanted to go.
I will dress up - at least, dress up in a manner that suits me.

The bads:

I will miss my puppy. If you don't think it sounds too silly, say a little prayer for Gabe and me both. We're not used to being apart. There could be tears tomorrow morning. I will feel guilty every single day I am gone. He will act forlorn every single day I am gone. All I ask is that he's still here, waiting for me when I get back.

Colorado Thoughts

2009-06-26T16:35:00.003-05:00

Who knew you could produce so much hail?

I am appreciative of every day that I can go outside and not feel suffocated.

Thank goodness for your natural geography that helps me find my way around.

DIA - we have a love|hate relationship.

The Front Range feels more like home than I would have thought growing up.

You are such a nice combination of liberalism and conservativism.

In general, I adore you.

Stooping to This Level

2009-06-24T10:49:00.002-05:00

I am a little funny about girly movies. I hated the new 'Pride and Prejudice', rolled my eyes at 'The Holiday', didn't cry in 'The Notebook', and have never finished watching 'How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days'.

But in the last month, I have seen not just one, but two chick flicks I found worth watching. 'New in Town' and 'The Proposal'. Both a little predictable, as is to be expected. But really funny, and really cute.

PS: But I still didn't cry in either of those. If you want to see me cry, make me watch a dog movie.

Productive

2009-06-22T18:11:00.003-05:00

I would now like to brag (to myself) about everything I have done in the last several days.

- Changed light bulbs in the dining room light fixture.
- Bought groceries.
- Medicated the dogs.
- Unpacked boxes. SO MANY.
- Threw away stuff. SO MUCH STUFF.
- Got rid of boxes. More than I could count.
- Set up the internet.
- Set up my mom's computer with wireless.
- Moved my mom's computer downstairs.
- Got the house key copied.
- Did laundry.
- Did dishes.
- Got rid of the pie.
- Ordered mail keys.
- Cut the hairballs off of Maci.
- Tried to wash the windows of my car, only to realize I was not using window cleaner. Hello, streaks.
- Sort of learned my way around. To Wal Mart. I've been four times.
- Took out the trash. More than once.
- Freed Chloe.

It actually felt longer than that list. Fail.

Classic

2009-06-18T16:37:00.002-05:00

So one of the many, many, MANY boxes that arrived in Colorado Springs contained the Parsons family breadbox. There were several women in the midst of organizing the kitchen at the moment I located it, so I notified my mom of the discovery.

'Be careful,' I warned. 'There is still food inside of it.'
'There is?' she asked, a little taken off guard.
'Yes,' I answered, opening up the cover a little so she could see. 'Oh. And a golf ball. And some...shoulder pads.'

How? Why??? WHO???

They went in the trash immediately.

Gold Bond is my New Best Friend.

2009-06-15T19:52:00.002-05:00

I needed a new post. But what should it say? Nothing has happened, and everything has happened. How do I narrow it down?

Firstly, I am back in good old Colorado as of yesterday. Back in Fort Collins as of today. But not for long! Soon I will be back in the Springs, dog sitting once again. Kansas was wonderful, and a lot of blessings came out of that time. On my very last night there, a lot of wonderful ladies and I went out to the prairie to take pictures. If you would like to see some of our work, go here.

Now. As peaceful, serene, and lovely as these pictures may be...I have to tell you about a terrible side effect of that night - CHIGGERS. Someone asked me if they were a mixture of chickens and tigers. More like a mixture of Satan and mosquitos, if you ask me. I started having some severely itchy legs during the drive out from KC, and it has only gotten worse from there. I have bites EVERYWHERE. Especially on my legs. My entire legs. Oh, and as if that's not bad enough, ALL of my clothes were smashed together in my suitcase for the remainder of the trip. So what does that mean for me now? That alllll of my clothes are contaminated? As is my suitcase, that I have to continue to live out of for the next month? What ridiculous little demons.

Secondly. This is the year of the bridesmaid for me. And today I got my first bridesmaid outfit for TORY'S wedding. It fits, and I will even be able to wear it again as a normal outfit! So that is exciting.

Thirdly. What is with the hail? Everywhere I go, there is hail! Golfball sized in Missouri, thankfully sparing my car much damage. And then more hail in the Springs yesterday. And quarter-sized in Fort Collins today. My car will be lucky to survive the summer!

Fourthly. WhatamIdoingwithmylife.

I gots a nubbin

2009-06-09T22:05:00.001-05:00

it's on my face.

Mercy

2009-06-05T11:58:00.002-05:00

I want to write something today, but I am just not sure what to write.

How can I live so much life and yet still not find something to write about? I think I over-analyze everything too much.

I can't usually spill my guts here on this blog, guys. Just can't. But what else does that leave to write about?

Well, allergies.
Pictures.
Videos.
Nephews.
Gabe.
Funny stories.

...

And another dosage of Gabe and nephews.

And that I am oh-so-excited for Alaska in LESS THAN A MONTH!

Speaking of nephews, mine are the cutest in the world. We had a nerf gun fight the other day before I left the house for the kennel. Every time I got shot, I would dramatically fall to the ground, limbs flopping and making a big scene. This was much to their delight, of course. And they would wander over to shoot me again while I was down. I would say 'Please, no, have mercy!' and then they would shoot me anyway.

They must have thought that phrase was pretty cool though, because now when they shoot me or anyone else, they say 'YOU HAVE MERCY!!!' And bang. Nerfed. Even after taking the time to explain to them what mercy really means, Micah saw me briefly the other day and said 'Remember, Becca, you will STILL have mercy TOMORROW.'

haha. Colorado just might be perfect if they could come along.

You know there is a pretty good chance your skin looks like that of an adolescent...

2009-06-01T16:09:00.002-05:00

...when your mom has to ask you if you are out of Proactiv as you are leaving the house without makeup one morning. 'fml' hahaha

I sound like I have a mental disorder?

2009-05-27T19:19:00.003-05:00

I don't know where home is any more. For real, I don't.

For years, Colorado was home. Namely, Montrose. And then big bad Kansas City came in and swooped up my family, tossing them about the country and making us cry like babies.

And then I moved back to Montrose. More crying.
And then I moved to Greeley, where I stayed for three years of college.
I spent summer and Christmas breaks in Kansas City during that time, looking forward to seeing my family and the few friends I had there, but always glad to get back to Colorado too.
And then I graduated. Probably some crying involved somewhere.
And then I lived in Kansas City over the summer.
Texas came next, but only for four months. Lots of crying there.
And then, it was back to Kansas City again. Followed by more crying.

I should mention that, throughout all of this chaos, I have had five driver's licenses. In seven years of driving. Stoopid.

I was probably more sad than ever to live here, but that had to do with a lot of other things. Like a hellish break up. And still not having very many friends. And not feeling confident about which direction my life was taking. Every plan that I had had up to that point was nowhere to be found.

But soon, six or eight months passed. And I fell in love with my church. And I could walk in to that building and run into lots of people who I knew there and they would greet me with smiles and hugs. And even though I would still often feel like a wall flower, it became a lot more obvious that I was part of a group, and in the loop. A part of me still longed for Colorado, but Kansas City was treating me well.

And then...I got a job. One that took me back to Colorado. Which was wonderful and awful all at once. Ironically, there was more crying when I moved back. And ever since being there, I have been so happy to be back in a familiar place. And to enjoy the beautiful weather and scenery. And to have ample time with the great friends I have made over the years. To make things even better, my parents also are moving out there, which means frequent visits.

The next part is that, after two months of living there, I quit my job. Which is again both wonderful and awful all at once. Because I am so happy to be done with that place, but also pretty much at a loss of what to do next. (But I'm not worried. At least not yet.)

Which brought me to taking a two week trip to Kansas City. Which brings me to my current thoughts. I was pretty much thrilled to be coming back to the place that had been so aversive to me for so long. And when I saw the 'sold' sign on my parents' house here in town, I was not 100% thrilled. It all seemed so backwards to me - was this not what I had been hoping for for years? I've only been gone for two months, so to be back here for an extensive visit basically tricks me into thinking that I never moved. That I have only been on a trip for a few months.

I don't regret moving. And I am still really glad my parents will both be out there soon. But I think I fell more in love with Kansas City than I once thought would ever be possible. HOW ARE THESE THOUGHTS COMING FROM MY HEAD???

It's sort of annoying not to have a home. But also sort of cool, because it means I love a bunch of different homes.

And also. I am glad that Colorado and Kansas hold hands. Because it makes it a lot easier to float between the two.

You Make All Things Work Together For my Good

2009-05-20T00:16:00.003-05:00

I'm quite in love with this. And what better words to be chewing on during a time of unemployment?*

*(oh yeah, i quit my job.)

Goofus.

2009-05-17T18:53:00.011-05:00

He is one.

Good Morning, Sunshine

2009-05-14T09:22:00.002-05:00

This day off is like that first gasp of air when you've been seeing how long you can hold your breath underwater and finally come back to the surface.

I'm so glad to be to today.

I was determined not to let anything come between me and sleeping in. And, as Murphy's Law would have it, today that was not the case. Gabe is usually awesome about staying asleep until I get up. But, he managed to break into his food bag yesterday (yes, AGAIN) while I was in the shower for a brief 15 minutes or so. Enough time to do some damage. Thankfully he didn't wake up periodically through the night, but by 5 am he was desperate to go guzzle some water. Maybe dog food is really high in sodium, I'm not sure. But every time he goes on a food binge (which I am coming to realize is WAY too frequently in his two years of life), he is desperate to consume water in huge quantities.

And so I found myself stumbling out of the bedroom in the dark, Gabe first hitting up the TOILET for refreshment. Because, you know, walking six feet to the bathroom is so much easier than the 15 feet to the kitchen and water bowl. 'It's a good thing you're so cute,' I always tell him, 'because otherwise you'd be back on the streets.'

I managed to fall back asleep until about 7:45, when our wonderful neighbor decided to start up his motorcycle. Simple, right? Apparently not. Why start it up once when you could start it up 13 times or so? Why let it sit there idling when you could rev the engine for maximum noise? And why wait until the sun is really up and shining when you could get to it before 8 am?

In his defense, I guess I should acknowledge that it's still a workday for most of the world. And, if truth be told, 7:45 is still more than two hours later than I usually wake up. But, while we're on the topic of truth, you should probably know that I flipped him off in my mind. (Hi, Mom and Dad!)

So what does the rest of the day hold? By now I should probably know better than to make plans. Because obviously things don't always go like I imagine them to. But I can say with confidence that I will spend some time with the bestie before she heads off to Europe for a very long month, and I will be seeing this guy play a show tonight with the company of some Greeley friends.

PS: Kansas City in two weeks. I'm so ready.

Maybe I Just Need More Sleep

2009-05-08T12:05:00.005-05:00

I can't really put how exactly I am feeling into words.

But I feel like I am running a million miles an hour, need to stop and breathe, and can't do so.

Work is non-stop. There is always something new to learn. Something I have forgotten. Or something another employee has forgotten that I have to figure out and get settled. And I am there starting at 645 am, 6 days a week. One day off flies by in a heartbeat. One morning to sleep in (if I get to at all) is almost non-existent.

This morning was chaos. Phones ringing, appointments being made (remember to pull the charts, print off consent forms, and write in the chart to prep it for the appointment.) Clients arriving, animals needing to be checked in. For boarding. Grooming. Or to see the doctor. Sometimes they are being checked in for all of those things at once. Make phone calls to confirm appointments for tomorrow. Prep charts for the appointments coming in tomorrow. Answer more phones. Prepare a chart for two new clients. Check clients out when they are done. BABYSIT A ONE YEAR OLD. (yes, I am being honest). And make sure you're not stepping on anyone's toes. And make sure you can keep up with everyone else. And don't mess up. And ask questions if you get confused, but don't BOTHER them with questions. And this doctor has this policy, but the other doctor doesn't care. But make sure you never do this around this doctor. Oh, and don't be surprised if the other doctor just calls and cancels all afternoon appointments anyway.

I feel frazzled. It hasn't even been two months. And I have learned a lot, but it feels like there is still so much to learn.

And in the spare time I do have, there are houses to be seen for next year. Groceries to be bought. Friends who need a listening ear. A dog that needs to run and let off his excess energy. Sleep, in very small dosages. SHOWERS TO BE TAKEN OCCASIONALLY. Since when does showering feel like an overwhelming task???

I'm not wanting to be a complainer. I am blessed with so much. But the stress is creeping up on me. I feel incapable. Anxiety is high when I am constantly holding my breath at the office, waiting to discover the next mess that has to be dealt with. My trainers are my security blanket, and I feebly attempt to cling on to them at all times. Does anyone know where I can get some thicker skin? Mine's feeling pretty paper thin. When employees and clients alike are throwing a huge fit and blowing off tons of steam, I just wish they had more Jesus. I need more of Him too.

This is Pointless, and Probably Will Make me Late For Work.

2009-05-06T12:21:00.004-05:00

I can't tell you how good it feels to sleep in and then take a power walk with Gabe before work. It never gets to happen! Except for today. Yes.

I think about dogs way too much. And Gabe is all I want in a dog. But someday I want to get another one. I want another Gabe. Which will never happen, because he is one of a kind. But, I am pretty sure he is Golden Retriever crossed with a Border Collie. Two of the best breeds! They're so different in so many ways though. So tell me, if it was based on looks alone...who would you choose?

Maybe I need one of each.

It's Monday

2009-05-04T12:01:00.004-05:00

Walked ten dogs.
Sent three home.
Took in two more.
Bathed one.
Medicated two cats.
Cleaned their nasty cages.
Gained one more.
Fed all.
Frantically did laundry.
Climbed the stairs 89 times? It felt like that.
Didn't even touch the cleaning - ran out of time.

And now, I get to go back for 6 and a half hours of desk duty.

Monday is lame.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

But even as stressed/frustrated/tired as I feel today, I am thankful for every blessing. And I will make it through the day just fine. Please offer up your prayers for these guys.

All the First Pages

2009-04-26T21:57:00.003-05:00

Things are a-changing.

Some things already have. Such as, I moved back to Colorado. Started a new job. Met new roommates and moved in with them. Pay my own bills.

On Thursday, Dad will officially live in the state again. Mom will not be far behind. I'm pretty glad about this...but there is an element of nostalgia too. I will never live in our house of almost six years again. My family will stretch from Nashville all the way to the Front Range of Colorado. Sometimes I feel like a broken record talking about this so much but it's basically the theme of my life now and will continue to be for several months. Kansas City became more like a home in the year I lived there, but now it too will become another closed chapter in our lives.

I see the positive in the changes. It's been a breath of fresh air for me to have regained my independence. I might have cried intermittently on the drive from Kansas to Colorado...but that was the last time. And it has been such a good thing for me to set about conquering a new city, a new job, and basically living like any other 'adult' would. I'm thankful that my parents will be back in the place they love the most and that they will have a chance to serve one more church before Dad retires.

But I'm a little sad too. I miss friends. I miss The freaking Gathering. I miss my family's dogs, the kennel I worked at, and I miss being able to have a family dinner every so often. So, someone, whenever it turns muggy and gross there...please tell me. So that I can miss that place a little less.

2009-04-23T13:35:00.002-05:00

You guys. Can I just tell you that it's ABOUT TIME that someone launched something like this! I hope their locations include Denver!!

Holy Hectic

2009-04-18T19:49:00.011-05:00

My mom suggested to me today that I write a picture blog with my time off from work. I protested the idea because my room is so messy. SOOO messy. But then I took pictures anyway.

Exhibit A (walking in the door)

Exhibit B (90 degrees to the left)

Exhibit C (another 90 degrees)

Exhibit D (making use of every piece of wall)

This was after filling the closet as much as the picture above shows. AND it has gotten even BIGGER since this picture. I think I need to make a run to Goodwill.

The most important belonging of all.

Just to prove I was here...

PS, Mom/Dad...were these a present from you guys? I found them in the midst of all my stuff.

Coolest kid on the block.

Peace in the middle west.

Weekly News

2009-04-15T11:30:00.002-05:00

I don't honestly have the time/energy right now to write something very cohesive or creative. But I have been neglecting my blog, so for the few of you out there who read this, here are a few little updates.

1. I will never again let Gabe eat rawhide, or at least not in the amount that he got treated to on Easter. (I never have let him have it in the past but he was offered one by a friend). Two days of diarrhea and throwing up was enough for me. And him. He's doing a lot better today though!

2. My room looks a little better than it did last week. Still lots of boxes strewn about, closet mostly empty due to a lack of hangers, and no comforter/sheets on the bed. But there are a few things on the walls, the book shelf is filling up, and I can see the carpet at least! Once Dad arrives on Friday, a few more of these issues should be remedied.

3. I get exhausted from my job. Some days, such as Monday and Tuesday of this week, I work from 6:45-6:15. With a break in the middle, but still. SUCH A LONG DAY. At the same time, the challenge of learning a new job with new tasks has been good for me I think. I feel like it's a more worthwhile job and something to take more pride in than being a barista. Not that it's hard to find a job with more purpose than making coffee, but still.

4. I am having Thai food and watching LOST with my roommates tonight. Awww. I haven't been able to talk about roommates in so long. The girls I live with are really great. For being a random find on Craigslist, we seem to be getting along very well. Not to mention they have good taste in TV shows...

5. Bri, Emily (not roommates) and I are starting up a little Bible Study/book study together. Will be reading 'Following Jesus' by N.T. Wright. Not gonna lie, a little bit intimidated to read Wright. But still looking forward to it.

The end. Ha lame. Picture post soon???

Pitaful

2009-04-09T18:16:00.003-05:00

I just ordered Pita Pit. Online.
What is the most pathetic part of this?
The fact that I was too lazy to make dinner?
Probably the fact that I could not even manage to drive to the dang place to pick it up.

I'm wiped out.
Too much has happened in the last month, and it's finally catching up to me I think.

At least I have a door now. And a bed. And a pita in the mail somewhere.

PS: Gabe is wiped too! He has a new roommate, Beau, who wrestles him day and night.

Pictures to come...maybe tomorrow. Maybe in a few days. Maybe if I ever get energy again.

Regression?

2009-04-05T15:56:00.003-05:00

I feel like a college student again.

Okay, I know, it's been less than 2 years since I was one. And I am often asked if I am old enough to drink alcohol legally. And I can even get the discount at the theater when showing my student ID for a movie. (Not that I have ever done that. Shhhh.)

But basically, let me back up. My point is this: although I have not been done with college life for very long, certain changes did take place between graduation and now.

-I moved home and lived with my parents. They allowed me to be there rent-free and gave me permission to eat their food. I got to eat their cooking. This meant a lot less cereal dinners and rationing of expensive things like produce.
-There were definitely nights where I was the first one in bed. No dance parties or shrieking roommates interfered with my sleep schedule. And I slept in my little corner bedroom, cozy and tucked away.
-Since my parents are hard-working individuals blessed with solid jobs, we did not have to make decisions like 'Everyone put on every jacket you own. We're turning off the heat to save on utilities this month.' Furthermore, the house was warmer in the first place because it did not have one inch gaps in the doorways or drafty windows.

It was sort of a plush life, living with them. And I don't regret being there for a minute. But since moving back to Colorado, there have been some changes once again.

-I sleep on a couch. For more than two weeks I have slept on this couch. And will continue to do so until Wednesday. I should also casually mention that this couch is in the living room of a house with an open floor plan in which four other people live.
-I buy groceries. And while buying said groceries, I either make tough decisions about which items to pass on to save money, or I drop those items in the cart anyway and walk in a cloak of guilt to the checkout stand.
-Starting Wednesday, I will start shelling money over to a landlord, never to see that money again.
-I stayed up until 130 am on Friday night (despite having to work at 645 on Saturday), and almost 300 am last night. I got up at 10 today, and was at church by 1045...complete with bed head.

Yes, something(s) have definitely changed. And I think I like it.

There will be days where I would definitely prefer to be back with the family under one roof. There will be weeks where I will probably wonder how I am going to pay for something. But having a job that asks a lot of patience and confidence from me (even when I have to fake it) is life-giving, in a roundabout way. And being near my best friend is surreal. And meeting new friends is such a gift. And having a social life is so...necessary!

I'm back in the saddle again. And I think I like it.

Observations From Working at an Animal Hospital: Week 1

2009-03-30T16:04:00.003-05:00

1. There are some really, really nice pet owners out there. I am like putty in their hands.
2. There are also some really, really neurotic pet owners out there. It drives me crazy.
3. The candy basket on the front desk counter is not my friend.
4. Capturing and scruffing mean, grouchy cats to put them in a carrier is not a pretty sight. I am also a pansy at it.
5. I have already become aware of several euthanasia appointments that have occurred - cats, dogs, even a puppy - and I have teared up a little thinking about it. More than once.
6. Vet clinics like to be clean - VERY clean.
7. The software used to book appointments and check clients in/out is so NOT user-friendly.
8. Puppies will always be my favorite thing.
9. It's all more enjoyable than Starbucks.

Changeling

2009-03-27T16:32:00.003-05:00

Sunday: 75 degrees. Wore a v-neck t-shirt with shorts. Walked Gabe in the park wearing Teva flip flops.
Thursday: 15-21 degrees with 6-12 inches of snow accumulation. Had to scrape my car three times in the span of about four hours. Wore my scrubs, with a North Face over the top. Moon boots were dug out of my chaotic clothes packing job. Sent home from work at 10 am.

I am back in Colorado.

It was hard to say goodbye to friends. It was hard to hug each of my siblings one last time. It was hard to pull away from my house that I will never live in again, and to leave my parents standing outside, waving to me. It was hard to kiss each of the dogs goodbye, minus Gabe, and not know when I will see them again. It was hard to desert my little corner bedroom and know that soon, it would be painted over and cleaned out. It was hard to think of church going on on Sunday night, and knowing I was not a part of it. It was hard to uproot again.

But it was so wonderful to crawl out of the box I had made for myself. It was so wonderful to cross the Colorado boundary line. It was so wonderful to have Gabe in the passenger seat for the entire journey. It was so wonderful to receive text messages and phone calls throughout the day from well-wishers and dear friends who wanted to check in on my progress. It was so wonderful to climb out of my car in Fort Collins and give my best friend a hug. It was so wonderful to spend a day with her and her roommates before starting work on Monday.

My third Colorado driver's license is in the mail, making a grand total of five that I have had since turning 16. My new bank account is up and running, with a debit card and checks on the way. My scrubs collection is thriving and colorful. I am going to figure out where I need to go to register my car, and how much it will cost. I am going to switch my phone number (again) to match the state I live in. I am going to learn my way around this little city and fall in love with each and every little coffee shop I walk into. I am going to muck a lot of kennels and shove pills down the throats of some of the meanest cats you have ever met, all with my UNC education. But I am going to be thankful that I have a job and that I live in the place I live in.

There are still a multitude of unknowns. But I am already in love with Fort Collins. I'm in love with this state. I am in love with a new beginning, and to be reunited with such dear friends. I am immensely blessed, and God is so good.

Awake My Soul And Sing

2009-03-16T21:39:00.002-05:00

Blog neglect? I think so.

Between packing, last-minute socializing, and being sick, I have not been present enough to post much. I think by now, all of you know that I am moving. To Colorado. In about four more days.

What the heck, you might ask? I think I am asking myself the same question. Along with:

-How did I get this job?
-Is this the right thing to be doing?
-Will my Kansas friends forget all about me?
-Will I make enough money to survive?
-Do I have what it takes to start over again???
etc. etc.

My soul is in a battle of conflicted emotions. Happy I will be back in my favorite state. Excited to live near my best friend for the first time in 6 years. Scared to live on my own. Nervous to start a new job, a real job. Sad to leave what has become a home over the last several years. Nostalgic when taking pictures down off of my walls and packing them up for what feels like the thousandth time. Thankful that Gabe is around to be my co-pilot. Heartbroken to leave my church...and also to watch my family be scattered across the miles. Hopeful for the new adventure. Sick to my stomach to say goodbye to friends once again. Holding my breath and hoping that my faith will be the thing to carry me through another big transition time.

As the day approaches, I get a little more fearful. I realize that not only am I moving out on my own again, but that I will not return home to my current house ever again. I've gotten spoiled being able to attend every family dinner and babysit my nephews on the weekend.

But I'm going anyway. I'm going to go. Grow. Learn. Maybe cry a little. But also experience the blessings of God no matter where I end up. And my gosh, I get to do it while breathing in that crisp Colorado air. I have no complaints about that.

<3

2009-03-03T21:19:00.000-06:00

several reasons to LOVE going home.

A Soapbox for Becca

2009-02-22T10:13:00.003-06:00

I am sure by now that most everyone out there has read this story - the one about the pet chimpanzee Travis that 'randomly' attacked a friend of his owner. And if not, you should read up on it.

Stories like this one really boil my blood. And I'm not going to go all 'P.E.T.A' on you. At least not to the point of throwing fake blood on your fur coat. But this situation really does make me sad in so many regards.

-Obviously, there is a great deal of sympathy and concern for the human victim in the attack. Her life will clearly never be the same again, and that is assuming that she makes a recovery at all from the attack. On top of the physical disfiguration that she will have to deal with, she will undoubtedly deal with emotional trauma for years to come as well. Your guess is as good as mine when it comes to wondering if she will ever have a friendship with Travis's owner again or not.

-Additionally, it is very unfortunate and unfair that the chimp himself had to pay for this situation with his life. We will never know what exactly triggered him to act so savagely towards the victim, but I hope that people can realize that it should not come as a surprise. Even after being raised by a human and socialized around many people, Travis still had instincts that could not and would not be masked. From a psychological standpoint, the 'nature vs. nurture' argument can be addressed. In other words, was Travis's personality and behavior most influenced by the circumstances he was raised in, or the innate tendencies he was born with? From what I have found, it is almost always a combination of the two. This applies not only to animals of all kinds, but humans as well. So, while Travis was a 'pet' who knew little more than living among humans and even behaving like one, he was still a monkey at the end of the day. And I believe his actions were those of a wild animal - not random, not unpredictable, but purely instinctual, whether that was for protective reasons, territorial reasons, etc.

-Finally, I truly feel sympathy for the woman who owned Travis as well. It is so easy for the media to portray her as some kind of idiot or lunatic. While I believe that it was not wise to keep a chimpanzee for a pet, reports on the news opened my eyes to elements of her personal life. She lived alone, craving companionship and desiring to nurture someone. That is a natural desire, especially for a woman. So, Travis was treated like a human. He ate human food, slept in a human bed, and undoubtedly was thought of as this woman's baby. And, while I fully support having a pet for companionship (Gabe has been a lifesaver for me over the past year and a half), a wild animal is such a poor choice for that companionship. It's easy to see how she envisioned a chimpanzee as the perfect solution - they are very similar to humans in appearance and even in their intelligence. Without having to commit to a human being as a spouse or a parent, she was able to pour into a being and receive affection in return. But that would never be enough for Travis. We as people often trick ourselves into thinking that love is all that an animal needs to thrive. As a wild animal in particular, Travis needed an environment and lifestyle more similar to what he would naturally have in the wild - even if he never experienced it since the age of three weeks. In a way, his owner loved him to death - literally.

I guess part of the reason that I feel so connected to this case is because of how, at dog training school, my eyes were opened more than ever to the relationships people have with their pets. Anyone who knows me is aware that I have always loved my dogs VERY much and will undoubtedly continue to do so throughout my life. And there is nothing wrong with that - at least to a certain point. Dogs have been domesticated obviously, and they thrive living in our homes because of their desire to be pack animals. I marvel at the bond man has with dogs daily. But you might be shocked to learn about how many dog behavioral issues stem from the irresponsibility or simple lack of knowledge of the dog owner. A dog may love sleeping in the bed, being fed treats, and being showered with affection. And I am not opposed to those things! But dogs also need discipline and a clear leadership from their master. It is such a huge part of why training is so beneficial to the relationship and respect a dog has with its owner.

One reason that I think Dog Whisperer Cesar Milan is so successful in this country is because it his priority to provide what dogs truly need and not what many of us think they need. His model is this - exercise, discipline, and then affection - in that order. It is what makes the most sense for a dog naturally in the wild. But, many people have a very difficult time straying from the common American model of affection, affection, a little bit of exercise, and maybe some discipline. In some extreme cases, the outcome can be the same as what happened with Travis - loving a dog to death.

I don't really know where I am going with all of this. It's just a topic I am passionate about, I suppose. And a big part of the reason that I want to train dogs is to help reduce the number of situations out there that pose a risk to a potential victim, dog, and dog-owner. So...does anyone know Cesar Milan and want to introduce us???

Winners

2009-02-12T11:26:00.003-06:00

I feel like I talk about Starbucks too often. And many times in a pretty negative fashion. But when that's where I spend a good deal of my time, that's where a lot of my stories are going to stem from. I doubt that anyone cares, but I thought I would give some awards today for various titles that employees or customers have achieved.

1. The Nastiest Drink Ever Award: goes to the woman who ordered this - A venti quad shot TEN PUMP BREVE white mocha. If you don't understand what that means, let me break it down for you. Venti is the biggest size at Starbucks. It's 20 ounces (and here's a free fact for you: 'venti' is the Italian word for 20). Normally it gets two shots of espresso and five pumps of whichever syrup you choose. White mocha happens to be the sweetest syrup we have. Breve is steamed half and half; the Starbucks standard recipe uses two percent milk normally. That drink was topped off with whipped cream also, as if it couldn't get any worse. A co-worker of mine decided to replicate this drink on a different day just so we could try it for ourselves - I pretty much felt my teeth decompose on the spot as I took one sip. SO NASTY.

2. My Least Favorite Customer Ever Award: this one is going to have to be a tie. First we have the man who, with a smile on his face, told me the other day that the store I work in was the worst store he had ever been in. As if I wasn't taken off guard by this statement in the first place (his drink was just like he asked for it and not delayed at ALL), his reasoning for the complaint was that 'every time' he came into the store, there were always 'people talking behind the counter.' Well? We are humans. We do talk to one another and we are friends. Also, was I talking to anyone behind the counter when you walked up? That's right, the answer is no. So why are you telling me instead of the people who were talking? And why are you smiling while telling me this? And most importantly, WHY ARE YOU HERE? If it's so bad, I encourage you to go elsewhere. Seriously!

My other least favorite customer is the man who ordered a tall coffee on Voting Day. Starbucks had a deal running where anyone who voted would get a tall coffee for free. Now, I guess the way it was supposed to work was that the customer had to have a sticker and proudly show it and ask for their coffee. I will admit, he didn't do that. But I felt bad charging him for his drink if he had voted and just didn't know about the special deal. So I asked him: "Sir, did you vote today?" Man with a stick up his ass: "That's none of your business." Me: "Oh. Well...the only reason I ask is because, if you did, I can give you your coffee for free today." MWASUHA: "Well that's still none of your business." Me: "Ok...then that will be $1.67." And what I would have liked to have added: "Your defensive nature tells me you didn't vote anyway, so nice try keeping that a secret. Have a Patriotic day."

3. The Grossest Task of All Time Award: has got to be cleaning the drains at Starbucks. Seriously. Four drains, all of which receive gifts from various stations behind the counter. A few words come to mind: Curdled milk residue. Murky water. Stale stench. Stray milk caps. BIOHAZARD. I don't think my description does this job justice. I stand up after cleaning, lightheaded. Could be the chemicals I am cleaning with, or it could be the filth I am bringing my face within inches of.

4. The Best Co-Worker Award: My friend Murad! He truly is awesome. Grew up in Jordan, now goes to UMKC and is working on his master's. I don't know how he functions, because he always gets about 2-4 hours of sleep before coming in to work. I've never seen him in a bad mood, however, and customers have commented about how well he makes drinks. Additionally some of the stuff he says makes me laugh so hard.

Such as this morning. I brought out a box of Red Velvet Cupcakes to put into the case. Murad: "I think those ones are a little shy." Me: "What? Shy? What?" Murad: "Yes, look at them, they are a little red!" BAHAHA.

Or yesterday as a co-worker who is a good deal bigger than me stepped backwards right as I was passing behind them, I was more or less shoved into the counter and then continued on my way, trying to stay composed. Murad came up and whispered "You were like a shaken iced tea just now." HAHA! Composure was all gone at that point.

He has texted me more than once to say "Hey you, it was sucks when you left today." Probably my favorite phrase of all time. "It was sucks."

I could go on and on with awards. But I'll spare you for now. If anything can top these, I will just have to come back to update the list from time to time.

Compare and Contrast

2009-02-08T09:41:00.002-06:00

Current musts:

1. Special K with Red Berries. I could eat this every morning of my life, I think.
2. Palmer's Cocoa Butter Lotion. It smells fantastic and moisturizes so well!
3. Air fresheners. I love it when my room and my car smell good. And Yankee Candle and Febreeze make some great ones.
4. My camera. I am going to have to buy a whole new computer just to hold pictures that I take, I'm pretty sure. I'm fobsessed.
5. My Oral B Vitality. It's an electric toothbrush. At first I hated it, but now I really like it. It basically polishes my teeth and is a lot less harsh on my gums. Now when I use a normal toothbrush it feels odd.
6. Iced double tall soy caramel macchiatos with sugar free vanilla and light caramel. I'm allowed to get it because I can make it for myself. Undecided if I will order such a train wreck of a drink order when I don't work at Starbucks any more.
7. Burt's Bees chapstick. It is the best.
8. Puppies. There is pretty much nothing better in the whole world than playing with puppies.
9. Wearing my black pajama pants to work. No one has noticed yet - in fact, if I wear those pants and a camisole to bed, then slip a polo shirt on over the top in the morning, it's like I never really had to get out of my pajamas!
10. Walks with Gabe. There's nice weather, and I have two healthy feet again.
11. Sale racks. I will forever be in love.

Current must nots:

1. Drama. Never.
2. Passive aggression. MEHHH.
3. People who talk too much and listen not enough.
4. Customers that tell me their negative opinion of Starbucks or the particular store I work in while I am in the middle of getting their order met. Talk to the manager. Talk to corporate. Or shut the bleep up and go open your own perfect coffee shop. And never talk to me again. Last time I checked, no one was FORCING people to drink Starbucks in general, let alone from any particular location. And, 9 and a half times out of 10 I am not actually responsible for whatever it is that they are unhappy about.**
5. Gas prices almost at 2 dollars again.
6. Expensive purses. It's not so much that I am against them. But I literally don't understand them. It's a purse. It will get filled with gum wrappers and receipts and pens. And you wouldn't want people wanting to steal your name-brand purse that much more. And you can find ones that look nice that aren't so expensive. Right? I guess I could be totally wrong about that. But that's my observation.

I am limiting my negative list so that it is shorter than the positive list. Should I have started with the bad one so that things ended on a happier note?

**If I am responsible for it, I apologize for it and make it right. I can get you examples if you are dying to know.

Puppy Love

2009-02-03T14:03:00.004-06:00

I finally had a little photography lesson with my darling sister in law Ashley yesterday. And that lesson has brought on various thoughts and feelings.

1. My camera is capable of much. So much.
2. I am so inexperienced, and I will only get better if I practice.
3. I am excited to practice.
4. Let's face it. Gabe will be the subject of many photo shoots.

So I started practicing last night.

Before I got the settings right...

...and then a little bit better!

It Made me so Happy

2009-01-27T13:04:00.005-06:00

to discover that, on Facebook, there is an entire fan-club dedicated to the hat that Aretha Franklin wore on inauguration day.

For that, she deserves a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

L O S T (him)

2009-01-24T18:02:00.004-06:00

Last night while at the show of a lovely friend of mine, my friend Leslie and I sat at a table with various other people. Some of them we knew, others we didn't know. It was one of those settings where it was possible to be social and talk to others, but I also wanted to hear all of the music.

However, during one of the breaks between bands, someone that had been chatting with Leslie a lot reached across the table to shake my hand and introduce himself. I discovered that they had been discussing 'Lost', so naturally I wanted to join right in.

He informed me that some friends of his were planning on re-making an episode and filming it. He told me about how he was planning on playing not one, but two characters because there were not enough people to fill all the roles. And then, he offered me the chance to be a character in their episode if I was interested.

My response, straight-faced. "Yeah, I would like to be Sawyer!"
His response, straight-faced. "No. You would have to choose a female character."

haha. It felt a little bit like a Jim vs. Dwight moment. My joke FAILed. And then I felt awkward. But it was worth it.

Say What?

2009-01-19T11:17:00.002-06:00

Why no.
The new layout/color scheme is not in honor of Valentine's Day.
Psh|as if.
But thank you for asking.

Tidbits

2009-01-15T18:23:00.003-06:00

It's one of those nights. As in, one of those nights where I have time to update my blog, feel obligated to update my blog since it has been so many days since the last update, but also am not sure of whether or not I have significant things to share.

So it will be a cocktail of thoughts, updates, and probably some useless information.

1. I'm still wearing the boot. For a while I was getting concerned that my tendon might not heal all the way. Because it was still bothering me a lot. Of course, going to work and standing on it for 6 or 7 hours was probably not helping it heal. Thankfully, in just the last two days or so, it has really started to feel somewhat normal again. My follow up appointment is on Monday, and I hope to get a go-ahead from the doctor to ditch the boot.
a. A friend of mine at church saw me from far away and thought I might have just been trying out a new style by wearing two different boots. I guess that could be taken in a good way?
b. A regular at Starbucks has offered to have me at his personal training gym to have a session with him to help heal the tendon. Undecided on taking him up on the offer.
c. I have gotten to a point where I forget I am wearing the boot. People ask me what happened a lot and I am taken off guard. Then I kick myself for not coming up with a cooler story regarding the reason for wearing it.
d. Due to my lack of walking ability, my dog is an absolute JOY to be around. And by JOY, I mean PEST.

2. I wonder when I will ever feel confident about what I should be doing with my life, and where I should be to do it. The bad news? It's really frustrating to just sit and let my thoughts about the future just stew. The good news? Lately I don't feel quite as uptight about knowing right away. My job has gotten beyond old. But it is a job. It meets my current needs. And it will carry me until the next thing does happen.

3. It was 0 degrees when I went out and got in my car this morning. The CD player in my car doesn't even turn on at such a temperature. When I left work, it was 12 degrees. And 12 degrees has never felt so pleasant. That is, in comparison to how I felt at 6:20 AM.

4. I thought LOST was coming on last night. But I was a week off. And then disappointed and even more annoyed that it's been so long since it has graced us with its presence. BUT. The silver-lining of the situation is that I got to watch American Idol instead - the one where they came to KC. And I know that if you read this blog you almost definitely know the same people I do. Probably introduced them to me, actually. But I just want to give a shout out to my friends whose lovely faces showed up on the episode. YOU'RE GOIN' TO HOLLYWOOD!!!

5. Iced soy chai from Starbucks seriously is divine. I drink it and literally feel euphoric. That is, until the break ends and I have to go back to the reality of work.

6. Today while I was cleaning up the bar, I heard a little voice say 'Boo!' So I turned around to find the face of my little darling nephew Micah peering over the counter, in the arms of his mom. Jeremy, Ashley, and the boys had come in to visit. Well, mostly to get a drink. But I so happened to be there, thankfully. Did my heart some good.
a. Micah and Tyler only wanted ice water to drink. Even with the other yummy options they could have gotten. Love them.

7. The end.

Outfit Fail.

2009-01-07T13:43:00.001-06:00

hahaha.

Old Bootleg

2009-01-05T17:34:00.002-06:00

Ladies and Gentlemen of the blog,

It seems that I have been diagnosed as having a mild case of tendonitis. Yes, as a 23 year old. Yes, after all those years of dancing and being an active walker to classes with no indication or difficulty.

I'm not completely sure what I did to cause this issue to flare up, but it was likely the walk/run I did with Gabe on Friday. I, trying to be healthy and ambitious, pushed myself to go further than normal, as well as running more than I usually do. On Saturday I was ready to attempt this same feat but fate would have its own say in the matter: about halfway through the loop, my left foot was screaming at me in burning pain. It felt silly to even consider it but at the time I thought about calling Mom or Dad for a ride home. Gabe and I made it all the way back though, and since that day I have hobbled around, popping 800 milligram Ibuprofen in my mouth as often as is safe to do so.

I was pretty against seeing a doctor as I was confident that I would pay to be told that I 'strained a muscle' and 'should ice it and take some Tylenol.' As I went to the office I faced a strange paradox of wanting a hopeful diagnosis but also wanting to be told there was a significant problem so that the visit didn't feel in vain. In the end, I suppose the news was somewhere in the middle - the tendonitis is not severe and is fairly treatable, but to help cushion the joint I would need to be fitted for a boot.

Yes, a beaut of a boot. The staff at the medical office likened it to 'a ski boot' and 'Darth Vader'. I'm sure you all know what I am talking about. And, for the next two weeks, you might be so lucky as to encounter me wearing such a thing. And wear it I will. This freaking boot cost me $194.89 - even after insurance. Time to get my use out of it - that's more than I have ever spent even on a pair of shoes! And this is only like...half a shoe. Hmph.

The other day as I left Costco with my CANON 40D, I told Ashley that, because I spent so much money, something catostrophic would probably happen, like my car breaking down. I guess I was right, and I guess a 200 dollar boot is what it will be this time.

For the record, I do not regret the purchase of either thing - the camera is INCREDIBLE and the boot REALLY HELPS ME WALK. And God has been faithful in providing odd jobs and extra hours at work. Things will be ok. More than ok. Bootiful. haha. Alright, enough.

Resolute

2009-01-02T18:19:00.004-06:00

This is probably overdue. Actually, it IS overdue. There is nothing I can do or say to change the fact that the New Year came and went, and I totally copped out on any sort of 'Best of 2008' or 'What's to Come in 2009' sort of post.

But I am one of the world's most indecisive people. So how would I make a list of 'bests' anyway? I would surely get to the end of it only wringing my hands and wondering how long it would be until I would totally change my mind about many of the things listed or adding several new ones. And, I sort of don't like New Year's resolutions. Is it because they seem cliche to me? Or that the likelihood of me actually sticking to one for good is pretty slim? Does anyone stick to them, for that matter? You have to make it something that is realistic to accomplish to make it worthwhile...but then again you have to make it something challenging so it actually counts. Sometimes resolutions can be cheesy. And, a faint, quirky, defiant shred of something inside of me thinks that anyone should be able to make a resolution on any day of the year.

And yet in the +/-24 hours since New Year's happened, I have had some thoughts come to mind about the year 2009. Most of you know I have been beating my head against the wall for months, trying to figure out what the heck is next for Becca after school. That is, besides loan payments and watching Veronica Mars.

I intend to find out what that something else is this year. Not in an 'I will figure out my whole life' kind of way but more of a 'What is the next step?' kind of a way. A job perhaps. Working with dogs would be ideal. Living near dear people would be ideal. Which ones they are, I don't know. Or maybe I will live all alone in a completely new place. I just don't know. However: overall, I just want to be happy this year. And actually, just being happier than the PAST year would be sufficient.

I realize that I am incredibly blessed and that things could be much worse in my life. It has just taken me a long time to come to terms with some of the residual emotional gangrene 2007/2008 shoved down my throat. But 2009 can be different - will be. There is no job, boy, or other commitment in my life that holds me back from doing, well...anything I want this year. And lately, God has been teaching me that that is actually a pretty sanguine situation to be in.

Here's to 2009. Here goes everything.

If you're going to sell dogs...

2008-12-24T21:28:00.003-06:00

Please refrain from allowing spelling and grammatical errors to run rampant in your ads. In fact, do me a favor and do not sell dogs at all. Because 'Doberman Pinchers', 'German Shepards', 'Dashounds/Dachshounds/Docksunds/Dachshuhnds/Weener dogs', 'Pomerians' and 'Shnauzers' do not exist. When you say you have 'purebread' puppies, some strange images come to mind.

Example A:

And for those of you buying a dog, don't support breeders like those. If they can't even spell their own dogs, that's just a bad sign.

This post was inspired while perusing through online classified ads for dogs. No, I cannot have another one. No, I am not highly considering another one...yet. I just look for fun sometimes. Is that nerdy? Probably no more-so than knowing all about how to spell different breeds and then ranting about it when people get them wrong.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a goodnight!

Comment Approval

2008-12-18T17:05:00.005-06:00

Alright. Becca's back to blog. Nothing like a little alliteration to start things off right. Although, does that alliteration count? Because the word 'to' is part of the sentence? Well, if it messes things up, then you can 1. Change it to Becca's back, bringin' blogz or 2. Just call that first one a partial alliteration. To start things off right.

Ok, so a week or two ago, I checked my email to discover that I had about six emails in my junk box. Five were from a blogger calling themself 'beccarox' (best name ever!) The sixth one was from, let's face it, an unmentionable sort of a place. Now, don't worry. Just because my blog comment notification emails go straight to my junk box doesn't mean I miss out on them. I check it diligently and make sure I can stay on top of the thousands of comments this blog receives. ANYWAY. Back to beccarox.

I went to the entry that beccarox had commented on. October 15th was the date. I will spare you the trouble of going back to look it up (unless you don't believe me - if you don't, feel free to check it.) The comments were as follows:

Blogger beccarox said...

dear becca, u r so fit, i want u more than santas want pies, like a block of cheese

Blogger beccarox said...

becca your soo fit cant wait to see you at the party itll be a right laugh hahahap.s your fit

Blogger beccarox said...

becca lovs chris 4 ever and ever
xxxx

Blogger beccarox said...

becca musk loves chris T

Blogger beccarox said...

chris is gay, never =0 chris turner loves becca

And I learned so much from this! I learned that I am so fit. Beccarox mentioned it enough times that I now can really take it to heart. I also learned that I love Chris forever and ever. I don't know much about Chris, except that he is not gay, his grammar is not exactly spot on, and he loves me/wants me. Like a block of cheese, he wants me. He is also likely from the UK judging by the slang he uses, and, let's face it, was maybe drunk and never intended for me to be the recipient of these messages (although possibly a different Becca should have been?)

Anyway, it prompted me to set up comment approval for my blog. But come to find out, the notification emails subside when you do that and you're supposed to approve them on the actual blog. So today I found three comments that I never knew existed! My favorite of which was probably the most recent one on my post about the walrus right down below:

Anonymous said...

You easily entertained looser.
Mr.X

Dear Mr. X,
Thank you for following my instructions from that blog post. I definitely let your comment be published for that reason.
Love,
b

Who are these unknown people I wonder? I have never been asked on a date because of my blog or recognized at various locations across the country because of my blog like this lady I know. In fact, if I am completely honest, I can almost guarantee that 90% of the traffic on my blog comes from hers alone. But tonight, that does not stop me from patting myself on the back because I just might have more than three readers.

Sara, Plain and Tall

2008-12-07T09:53:00.002-06:00

While some people come up with very innovative, unique things to post and say on their blogs, I myself take a much easier way out most of the time.

Which is why I am sharing this gem with you today. Meet Sara the walrus.

Call me a loser. Call me easily entertained. I am fiercely interested and charmed by animals trained to do different things, even if it's just for fun. (Soon I will put up a new video of Gabe's new tricks!) I watch something like this and immediately want to know how they taught her, or if they really had to. Maybe they simply captured the behavior by reinforcing her when she did it on her own. Maybe she learned it by them modeling it for her. Maybe they rewarded close approximations until Sara grasped the entire behavior. Maybe I should have gone to walrus training school?

And in case Sara is not entertaining enough for you, at least take notice in how much fun the TRAINER is having starting at about the 38 second mark.

One Point For Starbucks

2008-12-04T14:19:00.002-06:00

I went to the dentist today. Which is a harrowing experience as it is, but especially when it's been, oh, two and a half years since the last time I went. And here I was thinking that you're supposed to go every year, but apparently it's every six months. Either way, I was overdue. Between going in and out of having insurance over the past year and a half and not really staying in one place for very long, it's been difficult to put a dentist appointment at the top of my to-do list.

And in the midst of all of this, I started working at Starbucks, the place I have come to frequently complain about. My best friend's dad Dan happens to be my lifelong dentist from growing up. He once told me a horror story about a girl who started working at a coffee shop and when she next had her teeth cleaned showed up with 14 cavities. 14! Can you imagine? Well, I have started to lately.

So I, being the Starbucks pessimist that I am, figured that I could probably be told some pretty bad news during my appointment. How many cavities would I come away with? 12? 19? Needless to say, I was dragging my feet a little when I stepped foot into a new dentist office today for the first time.

Needless tangent: can I just take a moment to describe the office to you? ('I don't know Becca, can you?') MAY I? Ok. All I can say is that you can't really expect anything less in Johnson County. The entire office had high, vaulted ceilings. The decorations were a mixture of upscale southwestern memorabilia in 'Tuscan' colors. (What is Tuscan? I don't know, but I read about it in an article they gave to me regarding the place. Think warm, earthy colors.) There was a flat screen TV inside of the over-sized granite counter the secretary sat behind. Not one, but TWO computers sat with internet access for waiting patients. Around the corner was the kids' area, complete with DVD's and a Wii. The bathroom looked like a facility you would use in the Bellagio...or something. Each chair patients occupied while being worked on had a flat screen with headphones so they could watch shows and movies while having their teeth cleaned. And my personal favorite touch? The BOUTIQUE connected with the office. Having anxiety about your dental appointment? Buy a handbag, or some jewelry! For the record, I did not indulge. End tangent.

So the place was pretty over-the-top. But the staff was honestly very kind, welcoming, and warm. They had a good sense of humor about the millions of x-rays that had to be done in my abnormally small mouth, they were not condescending about the fact that it took me so long to get my teeth looked at, and best of all - they told me I had no cavities! I was so thankful to hear that! It's certainly a blessing. Another blessing? The fluoride treatment didn't make me nauseous like it usually does.

And maybe the biggest blessing of all? My insurance covered everything except for the fluoride treatment, and that was something optional I decided to have them do. God is so good. And Starbucks isn't all bad, afterall.

((If you want to know the one bad piece of news from the visit, you can know that I still need a gum graft. Yes, that's right: taking flesh from one part of my mouth and patching it in over my receding gum lines. Apparently braces paired with my aggressive teeth brushing habits has destroyed much of my gum-line, leaving the roots of some of my teeth exposed. Can you say sensitive teeth? And painful surgery? I'm not going to worry about it today though. Maybe in another two and a half years, or when I become a millionaire.)

At Least I Won't Outgrow Gabe

2008-12-02T15:02:00.004-06:00

I want to tell you a story about stuffed animals.

I was one of those very sentimental kids. Which probably means I am one of those sentimental half-grown ups now. But anyway. Every one of my stuffed animals had a name and identity of its own and I pretty much kept very close track of all of them. I was the kid who would go to a yard sale and feel the need to 'rescue' the forgotten stuffies I would find there. Bottom line: I believed they had feelings and needed a 'home' (just imagine the nightmare of walking into a pet store or animal shelter with me).

As I got older and realized I probably did not need 468693 stuffed animals, I made the decision to get rid of some of them at our yard sale we were about to have. It wasn't necessarily a mindless, easy decision, but I told myself it was time and I really thought if other kids could enjoy them, it would be worth my own anxiety over it.

Well, the day of the yard sale came, and everything was out to be sold. I think an animal or two was taken here and there for the first little bit. It was fine. And then, this kind of older man came and started stuffing a grocery bag full of my old animals. My parents only had the mindset to get rid of everything, not make a lot of money. So I think my mom was egging him on, telling him to take as many as he wanted.

And as he came to pay, he said something like 'Oh man, my Rottweiler is going to LOVE these. He destroys them so fast, we have to buy lots at yard sales to keep up with him!'

ARE. YOU. KIDDING ME.

By then it would have been too late to throw a fit and save my old friends. He gave his money, took his bag full of my memories and childhood, and he was gone to sacrifice them to the hairy dog.

Life lesson fail.

This is so Disturbing

2008-11-24T21:28:00.002-06:00

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

...but I just about died watching it. And now I'll probably die of embarassment that you are watching it.

Hairy Christmas

2008-11-24T12:01:00.003-06:00

It took me eight months to get a haircut. That is most certainly an outright violation of the laws of any salon or hair stylist. But I am proud that I waited that long. Because I saved money. And gained some length on my strands.

Some people have asked me how I pulled that off without my hair being completely ruined. Simple: wear it in a french braid ALMOST every day. I know what you might be thinking - a french braid is often a favorite of 4-Her's and homeschoolers. Well, let's just say that I may have been both of those things back in the day. But aside from that, it has been a lifesaver lately! A french braid has been the hairstyle that enables me to shower at night, sleep on it, and get up between 4 and 6 am for work without having to style it again. Another plus? The day after that, you can take the braid out and then wear it wavy. Thus saving on shampoo use as well as doing damaging styling to your hair.

I think my new haircut is a good one finally! The reasons that I like this haircut are: 1. she didn't take off all that much length 2. I can wear it down if I choose to 3. it has lots of new layers. And now I am thinking about dying it for the first time in my life...

I would like to take a moment just to mention that I feel a little bit trivial talking about hair so much. But while I am on the topic, I bought a Furminator for Mr. Gabe and The Others too. For as much as those things cost, it had better work well! And it seems to. My biggest complaint is that you have to stop and pull the hair off after about two strokes of the coat. Oh, and Gabe REALLY wants to eat both the hair and the brush. Every time.

Lastly. A lot of you have probably seen this. I want to know your thoughts on it though. And what would the best response to it as Christmas approaches.

Kindred soul cracked spirit

2008-11-18T15:08:00.003-06:00

Her: When you're calling out drinks, try to put a little more pizazz into it.
Me: Ok.

What she was thinking: The District Manager is here and I am going to do whatever it takes to really wow her.
What I was thinking: You have no idea what's going on with me. I suppose that's my problem because I haven't told you. But I don't plan on telling you. And I know that I am not exactly a Disney Princess when I call out drink orders, but maybe I don't have to be when the customer is standing inches away from the spot they pick their drink up at. I'm still nice to them. I make eye contact and smile and thank them. And I don't really care to kiss up to her because she clearly already has her favorites. I'm not a competitor for her attention.

It wasn't a bad shift. It was actually decent. But I'll still be glad for the day when I can leave that nonsense behind. And maybe I am totally flawed in my way of thinking about work. But there is something really frustrating about being asked to act fake towards others. If I was standing on the other side of the counter, I'm pretty sure I would prefer to be interacted with on a person-to-person level, not an exhibition-to-person level.

It makes sense that sometimes we have to power through the day and put on a little bit of a face when we are in public while there is a lot more going on beneath the surface. But I guess even on the best of days, I am still not a fan of cheesy fakeness.

Tory asked me this morning, 'Why are dogs so amazing?' I didn't know how to answer exactly. It's hard to summarize exactly why they mean so much to some of us. But maybe one reason I love dogs so much is because I can be myself around them always. And, ironically, I don't have to be told to be animated with them - it comes naturally because of how wonderful they are :)

A dog can express more with his tail in seconds than his owner can express with his tongue in hours. ~Author Unknown

I guess that means Gabe should be the barista, not me.

This Day's a Spinning Circus on a Wheel

2008-11-15T13:44:00.016-06:00

So...I'm back in Kansas now.

It was a blur of a week gone; certainly had its ups and downs - but God really took care of me out there. Took care of me personally and also through other people. And even though I left with an empty spot inside of me accompanied by a dull ache of sorts, He has taken much of the razor sharp edge off of the pain. For that, I am truly thankful. He is faithful. And He blessed me with fun times with friends. Just look.

Props to Misses Tory and Shefali and their uncanny ability to take good pictures. There were too many fun ones to use less than this many. Oh, and it's unanimous - Tory and Shefali are BEAUTIFUL.

So now it's back to the norm. I was welcomed back to reality with a nice 4 AM awakening to open at Starbucks. I'm not 100% sure what will happen with the job I interviewed for - but mornings like this one certainly give me ample motivation to do something to change my job.

Don't get me wrong - there were many perks to arriving back here. Not the least of which would be sweet Gabe and the hyperactive wiggle fest he bestowed me with upon seeing me through the car window. Parents waiting to welcome me back. Numerous friends' phone calls, text messages, and emails. I don't know what I am doing or where I am going or how I should be feeling. But maybe for today it's ok to just be. And enjoy today's blessings.

If you live near me, let's hang out.

Glass

2008-11-11T15:38:00.010-06:00

'There are a lot of different ways to cry. There's the "somebody close to you is dying" cry, the "confessing dark secrets" cry, the "I'm angry and want to kill or at least significantly maim someone" cry, the groom's "my bride is coming down the aisle" cry, the "kid whose feelings have been hurt" cry. There's the "car accident I could have died in but didn't" cry. There's even the "I just hit my thumb with the hammer and it hurts so much but I'm not going to cry, so little tears are forming in the corners of my eyes" cry. But her cry on that day was a kind of crying I have seen many times. It's the cry of someone who has had their heart broken by a lover.

It comes from someplace else.

Someplace far inside a person, deep in the soul. It's a cry with a certain ache. It's the ache of a broken heart.'

-Rob Bell, 'Sex God'.

I don't like casually writing my feelings on this blog so that people simply can have a look inside my life. I don't like the impersonal approach of simply blabbering out my thoughts so that you know what's going on with me. And yet I feel as though it's very hard to talk about my situation as well. To live and re-live events that have taken place this week and in months past most assuredly means tears will form, tears will fall, and tears will keep coming. Tears like the ones Bell speaks of.

It's difficult to know where to begin. I feel foolish. I feel naive. I feel upset with myself for so stubbornly trying to hang on to my past. And simultaneously, I am concerned for him. My heart is breaking for him. I am devastated by what sin does to people and what it can cost them. I so desperately desire for him to experience freedom and to make decisions that will help him prosper, not stumble.

And I'm not even sure why or how I can feel those things for him. How after all I have been put through I can still pick myself up off of the floor just to experience disappointment again. Time and time again I have found myself thinking 'If only I could hate him...' What a flawed way of thinking on my part. I am so blatantly reminded of how human I am. And of my own sin. I should never wish to have a hardened heart. To turn my back on the ones closest to me because that's the easier thing to do. I guess that is precisely why I do not understand the why's or the how's of my heart. Because I should not/cannot take a bit of credit for any good thing that my heart may be experiencing; the Lord is the only One giving me a shred of grace throughout this time.

I have been humbled to learn and re-learn and then re-learn AGAIN that I am not key to his salvation. To anyone's salvation. Any control I had at any point in time was merely perceived control. This is God's battle now. Actually, it always was and has been and will be. And while I am really trying to rest in that and trust Him with the road that lies ahead, it is so easy to feel discouraged. To wonder if all of my love has been in vain. To be slapped in the face with the possibility that I may never speak to or see one of my best friends again. It feels almost impossible to know how to put the pieces back together. Which one to start with? And how?

I pray that I did not speak out of turn yesterday. That I have not somehow made a bad situation worse. I was too upset at the time to really convey all of my feelings. And typing about it now feels all too risky, but on those occasions where I come to the end of myself, somehow the opinions of others just don't hold the same significance that they might on any other day.

There is a good chance the one I speak of will read this. And if/when he does, I hope he at least knows that I care about him. I'm worried about him and it is so endlessly difficult to feel like I cannot help him. And that my heart is broken all over again, but that I plead with the Father to direct his steps and to give him a discerning heart. That even if I have no significance to him or a role in his life, I am truly desperate for him to experience what freedom is. Because life is too short to live ensnared in something horrible. And that I never, ever want him to give up. That there is help available to him out there, and I hope he will take it. And that when I gave him a hug, I meant it.

As for myself, I have some very tough weeks and months ahead of me. I have already gone to a job interview with swollen eyes and a deflated self-worth. He is just a few miles away from me and there are reminders of him everywhere I turn. The mere thought of continuing to experience the kind of pain I have dealt with for months is scary and over-whelming and devastating. I covet the prayers of those who read this.

23

2008-11-03T21:35:00.014-06:00

Well guys, I am another year older. Have I aged?

Happy Birthday to Tory!

2008-10-30T15:16:00.002-05:00

She's just one day older than me! And I miss her. But I will be seeing her in just over a week, how crazy is that?

Now I have a story. It doesn't have anything to do with Tory, but I think it is worth telling.

Yesterday at work, Murad answered a phone call that came in. I wasn't really paying attention, but after a minute he was like 'Becca, it's for you.' I was pretty skeptical at first. I figured that either there was no on on the other end or it was going to be our boss or something and he just wanted to play a joke on me. No one has ever called me at work before. But, he kept a straight face and said 'No really, it's for you!'

So I picked it up.
Me: Hello?
Voice on the other end: Hi, you rang me up earlier when I came through I think.
*I get a sense of dread in my stomach, wondering what she must be calling to complain about.*
Me: Oh, ok...
Her: Do you see a guy in scrubs sitting in the cafe?
*Still not convinced I am not talking to a co-worker just trying to play a joke, I kind of laugh.*
Me: Um, well...
Her: He's in there. He has sunglasses hanging on the collar of his shirt.
*I suddenly see the man she speaks of, kind of getting creeped out MYSELF that she is talking about him, wondering if I am getting roped into some kind of assassination plan.*
Me: Oh, yeah. I see him now.
Her: Do you know if he is single?
*Seriously? SERIOUSLY? You are calling your barista to dish GOSSIP on someone?*
Me, getting more and more amused by this: haha, No, I really do not know.
Her: I was in there earlier, and I see him a lot, but I just didn't have the guts to go up and talk to him!
Me: Oh, yeah...
Her: And he doesn't wear a ring or anything, but in his line of work that doesn't mean a thing!
Me: Yeah, true...
Her: So you don't know if he comes in there with anyone ever?
*Unable to even recognize the guy, let alone keep tabs on his hypothetical main squeeze, I am at a loss for words.'
Me: No, I don't really know him. At all.
Her: Oh, ok...well, how old do you think he is?
*HAHA*
Me: Oh, wow, um...I don't know, 20's or 30's maybe? I only have a side profile view of his face.
Her: Yeah, he seems pretty young!
Me: Yeah...
Her: Well, your mission, if you choose to accept it...
*oh crap*
...is to find out more information about him!
Me: hahaha
Her: I am in there all the time and I know you work quite a bit.
Me: haha Ok, well I don't know but if I am able to find anything out I will let you know.
Her: Ok, thank you!
Me: Sure, bye.

hahahah. It felt sort of inappropriate, but funny and almost a little sweet at the same time. She must have a maaaajor crush if she was willing to call Starbucks, ask for the girl at the register who apparently looks like she might know all of the juicy details, and ask the questions she needs answers to. If the guy's not married, I kind of hope they get together because it would be kind of lovely.

And then Starbucks would give me a raise for being the best Barista/customer service agent/MATCHMAKER they ever had.

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

2008-10-27T19:08:00.002-05:00

A - Autumn. My favorite season.
B - Birthday. Soon. VERY soon.
C - Cavities. I am worried I have a bunch. But won't know til I go to the...
D - Dentist. Need to find one.
E - Eggnog. 'Contains eggs' (found on the allergen warnings at Starbucks).
F - Friends. Two of the best are coming to town on Thursday/Friday!
G - Gabe. Might as well be my baby.
H - Halloween. Also soon. VERY soon. What are you being?
I - Interview. I have one guys.
J - Juno. Has a nice soundtrack playing right now.
K - Kansas. I've lived here for 9 months now. Wow!
L - Lethargic. Look it up in the dictionary and you'll see my picture there.
M - 'Mater'. The name of the towtruck from the movie 'Cars'. I just found that out today. It's not 'Mader'. It's Mater. Does anyone have an explanation for this? Or find it funny like I did?
N - Nighttime. Comes so early these days.
O - Old. That's me.
P - Pointless. This blog?
Q - Quickly. That's how the past couple months have passed.
R - Red. My favorite color.
S - Sisters. Wish mine were here.
T - Tragedy. I have been particularly heartbroken by several stories making headlines these days. We live in a broken, broken world.
U - Um. I am having the worst time coming up with one for U.
V - Vug. A cavity in rock, lined with mineral crystals. (V is also for vocab skillz).
W - Water. I should drink more of it. Story of my life.
X - Does 'X' mean hugs? Or kisses?
Y - You...are almost done if you've read this far.
Z - ZZZZZZZ I'm goin' to sleep!

My-notony

2008-10-22T17:58:00.002-05:00

It's weird how long things can go on somewhat monotonously.

And then suddenly one day you find yourself faced with a bunch of big decisions and potential changes.

Things could go right back to being monotonous.
But they might not.
And actually. Even if the current potential changes don't pan out as they might, I'm not sure I am willing to go back to monotony.

It's kind of liberating.
Definitely scary.
Hopeful.
I've felt sort of nauseous all day. In a good way?

Have I used 'monotonous' enough times in these few short sentences, as well as different variations of it? How monotonous of me.

That's all I'm willing to say for now.

PS: I like rain.

Buenas Bonjours

2008-10-19T09:05:00.004-05:00

Yesterday, I had several customers greet me in different languages at the cash register. At least, that's what I could assume they were doing, as I do not understand that many languages.

Maybe Johnson County is becoming more culturally diverse, you say?
Doubtful.
Maybe coincidence?
Unlikely.
Maybe someone had, without my knowledge, posted a 'trivia question' on the board behind me asking customers if they could say 'Good morning/afternoon to us in a different language?'?
Yes, I think that might have happened.

Customers: Sorry for staring blankly at you and not cracking so much as a smile.
Starbucks: I'm over you.

Love, Becca

2008-10-15T14:06:00.004-05:00

Dear Weather,
Thank you for being cold.
I love how grey you make the sky.
My long sleeved shirts and sweaters are over-joyed to be worn again.
My heart feels lighter now that it is not being strangled by the summer heat.
You rule.

love,
becca
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Eyelashes,
Thank you for growing back.
I'm so happy to see you again.
Sorry for killing you a few months ago.
I wasn't the same without you.
Please never leave again.

love,
becca
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Neighbors,
Please get a clue.
Your dogs are miserable.
Don't chain them up.
All you have to do is build a partial fence for your whole yard to be enclosed.
They are obnoxious barkers. That's because they are unhappy. Especially in the pouring rain.
I wrote down your address.
Not so I can send you this letter, but so I can send the authorities to your door if this continues.

love,
becca
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear God,
Please help me sort my life out.
Kthx.
You rule too.

love,
becca

What do You Think?

2008-10-10T12:18:00.002-05:00

So I was just at lunch with this beaut and told her about a question I recently asked Cha Cha. With the impending election growing closer every day, it has gotten me thinking about prejudice that existed in the long ago past, the very recent past, and still today.

I don't know that I can say prejudice of one kind or another will make or break the election, but I am confident it WILL be a contributing factor to how people vote. So I would like to know what you think exists more prevalently today: racism or sexism? And why?

Time For a Vent

2008-10-07T16:46:00.005-05:00

I am generally a pretty pleasant, easy-going person. But sometimes, there comes an hour where I just have to state some things to prevent a Becca explosion.

I can't stand salespeople. Sure, it's their job to sell things and they are only doing what someone who pays them told them to do. But still. Let me elaborate.

Now. I know it's bad tact to write about work in a blog. I know it could get me in trouble. Or even possibly fired. But when you don't even like your job that much and need a new one anyway, I say that rants about work are fair blog fodder.

At my place of employment, I am sometimes asked to do what we refer to as 'suggestive selling'. This can be described as employees 'suggesting' that a customer may want a little 'something' to go with their coffee, latte, iced grande whatever. Let me first make something clear. I hate suggestive selling. I HATE IT.

For starters, I don't like the fact that suggestive selling does not serve a genuinely heartfelt question. For example: 'Would you like a pumpkin scone to go with your coffee today?' You know in your heart that the guy you are asking does not want a scone. He never does. He drinks his coffee black and bland and bold. So really, do you think he is going to suddenly want a sugary, preservative-filled, empty calorie seasonal sensation? Of course not. And furthermore, did the customer not have ample amounts of time while in line to examine the pastries available and decide for his or her self if he/she truly wants something to eat? Cut the crap. If you ever hear suggestive selling coming out of my mouth, it's a sure bet that my boss is there too, holding a gun to the back of my head.

On to story two. Today, I was at the mall. By myself, but on a mission to get some clothes. Upon leaving Forever 21, I was basically attacked by a woman working at one of those damn kiosks you see throughout the mall. 'HELLO sweetie, COME sit down! Come now.' Sweetie? Do I know you? Sit down? Do I have a choice? I, taken off guard and not smart enough to get the H out of there immediately, scuffled over to the stool at her stand and took a seat. Only then did I even see what she was trying to sell. Hair straighteners. She then pulls out a straightener to do a demonstration. I happen to be wearing my hair wavy today. Little does she know, my hair is NATURALLY straight. I braid it to make it wavy. So 1. it's not like I lament the fact that I have waves in my hair and 2. I did not want her fugly straightener on my hair. She brings it near my hair and I am just like 'you are going to STRAIGHTEN it?' and she assures me 'I will fix it after!' So she straightens a section. Wow. Amazing. My hair is straight in that spot. Just like it naturally ALWAYS is.

She starts in on another section 'NO MORE.' I told her. She got kind of offended because she stopped being all suck up to me. She then put RINGLETS in the section she messed up. I would just like to state that RINGLETS are not the same as WAVES. SEE?

Ringlets

Waves

On the upside, I DID get some fantastic clothes.

Thank you for your time.

Kin

2008-10-05T12:33:00.005-05:00

On Friday night, my whole family got to have dinner together.

I guess I should specify - my whole immediate family. That's Dad, Mom, Jeremy/Ashley/Micah/Tyler, Annie, Sarah, and myself.

Big deal? Yes.

Need context?

For a while, I lived in Montrose with Dad, Mom, Annie, and Sarah while Jeremy moved away to Greeley. Then, Annie moved to Seattle. Then Dad, Mom, Sarah, and I moved to Kansas City. Then I moved back to Montrose. Then I moved to Greeley. Then Jeremy and Ashley moved to Portland. Then they moved to Kansas City. Then Sarah moved to Liberty. Then Annie left Seattle and didn't have a place to call home at all. Then I moved to Texas. Then Annie moved to Nashville. Then I moved back here. And that is just the summary, really.

And Annie is not sure how long she will live in Nashville. And I am not sure how long I will live here. And Sarah doesn't know where she will be going after nursing school, but there is a good chance it won't even be in this country.

So. Having dinner with my whole family is rather special. I'm always amazed and even baffled by entire families that live in one place. The concept of it makes sense. But right now might be the closest my family will ever come to achieving that. So I'll take it while I can have it.

I love my family.

Arbitrary

2008-09-30T13:10:00.002-05:00

It is finally my favorite season. And almost my favorite month. Tomorrow.

When I took Gabe for his walk this morning, I noticed that it was actually chilly outside. And it made me glad.

Or sitting at a stoplight the other day, I looked up and was surprised to see that the trees lining the road ahead on either side were mostly gold.

Little stuff like that warms me inside.

I also got to help be in charge of decorating the store with a 'harvest' theme last night. We had a budget of thirty dollars - we spent one hundred and eight dollars. Um...budget fail? But we had like two things we ended up being able to return. Plus we justified it, thinking that most of the stuff could be re-used in future years. And it IS the third biggest Starbucks in the country. Shouldn't we have a budget to match?

Ever have one of those days where you just never get yourself together? Like, still wearing pajamas well past lunch, wearing your hair in the pony tail you slept with, contemplating errands you could run but instead choosing to ignore them and checking your Facebook periodically and hanging out with your dog because you're not really fit to be around people at the moment...anyone?

wow, that ended up being a little more revealing than it possibly should have been. But I, like anyone else, have my reasons for condoning such a day.

A heart that's full up like a landfill,
a job that slowly kills you,
bruises that won't heal.
thank you, radiohead.

A Young Jedi

2008-09-26T06:56:00.001-05:00

Happy Friday!

This Post Does Not Flow Well

2008-09-24T22:49:00.005-05:00

The lodge we stayed at in Whistler was sooo nice. I think the final number of us staying there was 26. Even with so many people, it never felt crowded. Each room had its own bathroom, too! It was definitely a classy house, within walking distance of the village. Here is what it looked like outside and in...

Not bad, hmm?

I feel like this trip was forever ago already. And it's been what, two weeks? How does that happen? And also, how is it almost October? And continuing on that note, how can it still be 80 degrees outside? FOR YOUR INFORMATION: I am thankful that it's not as humid as it was this summer. It has been much much better lately. And I appreciate it. I just want to know when my long sleeved shirts can return to society. And my drawer full of scarves. I've never lived here during this season, so I don't really know what to expect.

On a slight-tangent-yet-still-on-the-same-topic, I am baffled by how different my life is currently than how it was just a year ago. Just read back to last September's blogs if you need proof. What I am slightly discouraged about is that last year at this time, I felt lost...and now, this year, I still feel lost. In a much more hopeful manner. But lost, nonetheless. Some people seem to have such clear direction and ambition in their lives. I'll be honest, I'm a little jealous of those people.

But I discovered a dog that is on various TV shows/ads that looks SO MUCH LIKE GABE! So I think I should contact the trainer and see if she thinks Kuma needs a body double, and then Gabe and I can just go tag along on all of their endeavors. Does he not look like he could be Gabe's brother???

Oh, Canada.

2008-09-18T15:10:00.007-05:00

After five years of living first part-time and now full-time in Kansas, I have gained a greater appreciation of driving places that have scenery. Sure, I guess flat fields are considered scenery...but 10 hours' worth of that to and from Colorado definitely wears its welcome on a girl after about, oh...30 minutes.

The drive from Seattle to Canada was different than Kansas. A lot different. It was even different than driving in Colorado! We left from Mill Creek at about 9 in the morning. The first pit stops? Starbucks and the gas station, of course. Give me a soy latte with protein and I'll be fairly content anyway, but the drive itself was very enjoyable! About four cars traveled in a caravan north on I-5. Someone recently told me the best way to bond with people is to take a road trip with them. I think we did pretty well in our car!

Somewhere along the way, the lead car flipped on its left blinker...and left it on. So our car soon had the left blinker going as well. As did the third and fourth cars. We drove for hours like that. And no, it didn't make any sense, but it was still a memorable aspect to the drive. We even got some other cars to play along with us, and that was hilarious!

The border crossing was relatively painless. We were asked where we were from and why we were going to Canada. We were asked what we did for a living and if we were bringing anything bad into the country. And then. We were asked how we all knew each other. I immediately took the reigns, telling the guard I knew Tory through mutual friends. It was a smooth enough transition (and a truthful statement), but it was a little ironic that he would ask us that when our answer really could have been 'we met over the internet. We just picked Becca up at the airport three days ago.' Anyway, we managed not to laugh until we were past the check point.

I wonder if people who live in the Northwest take their scenery for granted. Because look at some of this stuff just feet from the Interstate!

Vancouver via Stanley Park

North of Vancouver.

It was sooo pretty, guys.

Somewhere near Whistler, we drove through Lake Placid, BC. We rolled down the window and Phil asked a driver near us if the movie was filmed there. The guy turned to his friend and asked him the same question. He then turned back to us and shrugged, saying 'Sure, why don't you tell someone that.' haha.

Out and About

2008-09-13T20:48:00.006-05:00

Fair warning: I am not sure how witty and fun I feel tonight, so this installment may not be all that intriguing. Then again, sometimes I am at my best when deliriously tired. Pictures can probably say it better than I can tonight.

In the two days between arriving in Seattle and then traveling up to Whistler, I was whisked about various Washingtonian locations and also got to experience several restaurants around the area. Fact: I think it's awesome that we ate at one of a kind places!

Another fact: I dare you to read the word 'shiitake' on a menu and try not to laugh or at least smile. Or is that just me?

Fun in toy stores:

An afternoon about downtown Seattle (there cannot be a cooler city. ((Colorado, you forever hold the spot for best state but Seattle is the best city. Sorry. I love you.))) Josh and Tory were great tour guides and we even got to meet up with my Mom's friend Lisa for a few hours:

In that same day, we made it all the way to Snoqualmie Falls - such a cool place! Even if they don't allow dogs there. From the looks of the sign though, only fugly dogs are banished so maybe I see their logic. Tory and I were famished by then and we just had to stop for a snack.

In the two days available to me in Washington, I made stops in so many cities/towns! Cathcart, Sultan, Snohomish, Sammamish, Woodinville, Bothell, Snoqualmie (is it more than a waterfall? It is, right?) Seattle, Mill Creek...and I am sure there were more. But someone would have to help me out with names because my mind was flooded with all of the places we went.

Well, since this is a very choppy and weird post anyway, I might as well tell you now that my hostess Tory knew I would miss Gabers so very much while I was away from him. Maybe because I couldn't shut up about it ahead of time? Maybe because she just knows. Either way, when I got to her house that first night, I turned on the light in my room and discovered that she had printed an 8x10 picture of him and put it on the wall!! Tell me she is not forever-friend material!

Introductions

2008-09-11T18:45:00.014-05:00

I can't resist. A free night means the next part of my trip can be shared!

Today, I want to feature each person who was on the party bus when I arrived.

1.

Kevin McCoy. This guy spoke in an Australian accent for the first, oh...few hours of me being there? I was very taken off guard by that at first and I will have you all know that I WAS SKEPTICAL. Because I could tell this group of people is one that loves shenanigans and what better way to confuse me than throw in an accent? Of course, I didn't want to call him out on it on the chance that it was really a genuine accent. Can you imagine? As I would come to find out, Kevin is perhaps the wittiest person to roam the Earth. I beat him in checkers. Once.

2.

Trevor Gibson. I did not get to know Trevor too well on the trip, but I did get to meet his little Cairn Terrier Izzie! We were also the odd ones out when one night at dinner someone decided to play those silly party games where they don't tell you how it's played, you just have to observe and figure out what the secret trick is. Know what I'm talking about?

3.

Shefali Pace. This baller got us the sweet discount on the lodge in Whistler! She is super cool, nice, has a radiant smile, and gave me a very genuine hug the first night I was there. She also works downtown (along with Kevin), making her oh-so-cool in my eyes! The girl is a lifelong vegetarian, which everyone likes to give her a horrible time about. But she has the best sense of humor ever about everything! Someone stole her GPS out of her car while we were gone. If you see that thief, please punch him/her in the face for me.

4.

Brooks Wheatley. Another person I did not have a chance to talk to very much. But, his name is Brooks! And one night, he was wearing Brooks shoes, and I found that very funny. If there were shoes called Becca, I would wear them.

5.

TORY CYR! She was my fantastic host, and she is quite possibly the cutest human being in the world (as her picture demonstrates). I have so much in common with her it's uncanny! Her house is the home of five dogs, so she has me beat there - but I think mine outweigh hers by quite a bit. We had a blast talking about dogs and not having to feel nerdy about it :). Her birthday happens to be one day before mine. I wish we could have a joint birthday party, and that I could be her neighbor for ever and ever. Also! She got ENGAGED while we were in Whistler to her love!

6.

Phil Cobrea. Tory's aforementioned new fiance! I chose a very random picture of him to use. A super cool guy with a great heart. He even likes playing the name the dog breed game! Used to play bass for the band This Providence. His being in that band is somewhat the reason I ever befriended Tory in the first place, so he gets a lot of credit. I am so excited for Phil and Tory!

7.

Jeff Bundy. He is certainly a ring leader in this group of friends, pumping us up for all sorts of things (notice how he is standing up in the party bus picture). He wore a loud noise maker around his neck for most of the week and made good use out of it. Often. He runs a business from his own home and prides himself on being the Camping Photo President on Facebook (aka The Most Commented Photo on Facebook). Ask me sometime if you are curious about it!!

8.

Rachel Bundy. Jeff's beautiful wife! She is in the process of becoming a nanny for one or two families in the Seattle area so she can also work from home. I was super happy to learn that she also is a big fan of dogs and knows lots about different breeds. She has very enviable hair. I told her so.

9.

Jason Steiner. The baby of the group at 20! He was a good pal all week. Works at AT&T but is getting ready to do a DTS with YWAM in a few weeks! I found out that he once met Bethany Dillon and she got his number, then texted him a few days later. Although he originally was relatively unimpressed by my ordinary dog Gabe, he later watched the videos of his tricks and changed his mind. Therefore we can be friends.

10.

Josh Reeves. He is quite the expert with computers and web design, etc. Runs the website Wingclips for a living. If you are someone who gives speeches/sermons/talks to groups often and find yourself wanting an easy way to incorporate movie clips that tie in with your theme, you should check into this site! I managed to convert him to being a fan of LOLcats...or at least I am taking the credit for it whether or not I had anything to do with it. He was our resident Canadian who was a big help navigating and helping us not get too confused being over the border.

More people joined our group later on, but these were the first ones I met. Too much? I am milking this trip for stories to the max!!

Seattle, Whistler, and Everywhere Inbetween

2008-09-10T15:17:00.005-05:00

I have returned!!

Being on vacation is apparently not all that conducive to posting, therefore my blog has been neglected for many days. Now I have lots of stories and pictures to share, but I'm feeling slightly intimidated by the daunting task of sorting it all out! Maybe I'll break it into sections and write blogs about those sections. Let's simply start with the journey TO Seattle.

I woke up early on September 1st to finish getting everything together for the trip. Dad and I left for the airport at about 10:20, enough time to get me there for my 12:20 flight. As we rode in the car I was slightly nervous about the thought of meeting so many people I only knew so much about, but mostly it was just exciting to finally get to the day of the trip.

I remarked to Dad during the drive about 'how ironic' it would be if something went wrong with my flight since, whenever I travel by myself, there is almost ALWAYS some sort of hold up. (i.e. Being stranded in D.I.A. for 8 hours waiting for my diverted plane to come back to pick me up due to a blizzard, waiting for a plane to be repaired after the emergency slide deployed itself for no good reason, runways shut down for high wind speeds, ice storms in KC, etc. You name it, I've probably experienced it.) It seemed like there could be no chance of a hold up that day. The weather was clear, we were leaving with plenty of time, and I was in good spirits. Dad dropped me off at the curb and I was on my way.

Well, the first discovery I made upon checking in was that my flight was delayed indeed. Only by 40 minutes, but this was a problem seeing as I was supposed to have a layover in Salt Lake that only was scheduled to last for one hour. With a knot in my stomach, I finished getting my bag taken care of and called my Mom. At that point in time, I just needed someone to tell me that there WAS a chance I would make my second flight. She thought I probably would be fine, but we both agreed that my bag might not be so lucky switching planes that fast. She asked what I had with me to carry on. 'All of my shoes, my computer, and the chargers for my camera, computer, and phone.' Awesome. 'Maybe your gate will be really close to the one you land at' she remarked. And she reminded me that there was nothing I could really do but wait and see. So I tried to relax and wait for 1 pm to roll around. This is what it looked like.

Upon boarding my plane, it did not come as any surprise that 1. the flight was completely full and 2. I was in the VERY back, meaning I would be the LAST one off of that plane. It was as if someone was trying to intentionally make me miss the next leg of the journey!

I was pleased that we managed to land 10 minutes earlier than the delayed arrival time in Salt Lake. It's a good thing that happened, too, because I was about to discover that, true to the fashion of my day leading up to that point, my departure gate was not REMOTELY close to the gate I landed at. 'It's ok,' I thought to myself. 'I will make up for the lost time. I am a fast walker!'

And walk fast I did. No bathroom stops either. I dodged elderly people and young families with strollers. Rolling suitcases were avoided and I used every moving walkway I could to shave precious seconds off of my haul. I could feel people staring at me through the back of my head. I am confident they were wondering why I felt entitled to bust my way ahead to the front of the 'line'. I ALSO felt their eyes watching me from behind when I FELL DOWN MID-JOURNEY. Yes, that's right. Fell. To my knees. Skinny jeans, moccasins, and waxed floors just do not mix I guess. But you know what? I didn't even have time to CARE about it. So I picked myself up and continued the rush to my gate. I walked straight onto the plane and glanced down at my phone to check the time. It took me ten minutes of POWER WALKING to get across that airport. Just in case you wanted to know.

But I made it! To the back of the plane again, but I didn't even care at that point. I was on my way to Seattle!!

Once I landed at SEATAC, I meandered along to baggage claim. It seemed like it would be a waste of time. I was pretty sure there was no way my suitcase could have made it to the plane if I almost lost my life getting myself to the plane. I called Tory to let her know I had arrived. She told me they (she, Phil, and Josh) were almost there to get me.

And then. My bag DID arrive!! Which I was extremely happy about so I didn't have to feel even more awkward asking brand new friends for pajamas to borrow and all. But, I did shake my fist a little at the Salt Lake airport since I practically had a heart attack making my flight and ironically, my suitcase most likely beat me there.

Stepping out to the curb, I was on the lookout for my ride. I knew Tory and Phil both drove VW something's so I was especially watching for those. Suddenly, Josh and Tory were both running towards me. 'BECCA!!!' Tory yelled. I gave them both a hug and then thought 'Weird, where did they come from?' The only vehicle I could see nearby appeared to be an airport shuttle. I was following them towards that shuttle but started saying 'Wait...what?' Then I saw Phil in the doorway of that shuttle. With a video camera. And then I read the side of the shuttle - 'Party Bus'. 'What?!' I squealed. They laughed and hopped on. I followed, and inside were lots more people!!! Needless to say, I was pretty embarassed at all of the commotion but it was so fun!

Tory said the bus itself was not nearly as nice as it looked in pictures. Additionally, the driver had a black eye. But it was the most memorable arrival I will probably ever have to a place. And it started the trip off extremely well!

to be continued...

A Most Monumental Day

2008-08-30T21:13:00.004-05:00

You guys. This might be old news. I don't know. But I just discovered/figured this out today. An LOLcat GENERATOR! Meaning I (and you) can make our own LOLcats!

And I barely have any pictures of our cats. But you better believe I spent some time using what I had. Allow me to introduce Chloe and Tabby.

Not bad for a first try, hmm?

Also. I am now officially on vacation for eight days!!! Kthx bai!

oh, and one more. It's going to be revolutionary.

Checks and Balances

2008-08-28T12:02:00.007-05:00

Since finishing school in February, I have accumulated somewhat of a lengthy list of purchases I need and/or want to make with the paychecks I earn. Unfortunately not all of the things are items I would classify as happy purchases, but they need to be paid for nonetheless.

What I have paid for so far:

1. One of those barriers for the car that is supposed to keep a dog in the back. Gabe weighs 45 pounds and knocked the bars down within about 30 seconds of riding back there. Honestly, people? THAT'S how poorly you want to design your product? I think it can be doctored up with stuff that will make it more stable, but really. How stupid is it that it would be so flimsy?

2. A web domain for my website. Sure, I have not gotten so far as to work on getting a website up and running, but at least the domain name I wanted is mine! So don't try to steal it.

3. An external hard drive. Because sometimes Apples go bad.

4. Car registration. What a lame thing to face paying for for the rest of my life. I'll bet Dad is glad he can pay for one less this year though!

5. MY TICKET FOR VACATION/WHISTLER LODGING!! Ok so that one is a fun one. And I only have to wait 4.5 more days until I get to go!

Things I still need to get:

1. A passport. Another worthwhile purchase, but something I am dragging my heels to go get. It will be worth it for the cruise next year though!

2. Cruise control for the Forester. Apparently cars made in the late 90's were not all equipped with such a thing. And I can just suck it up and use my foot all the time...but what if I wanna drive to Colorado???

3. Sallie Mae. Oh how I love paying you back with your 7% interest rate. I will show you though - every cent I take off of the principal is less money for you to make off of me. Suck it.

4. A FURMINATOR!! Everyone knows that when these guys are your roommates...

...you need one of these.

More precisely, I need one. For those roommates.

100!

2008-08-24T15:01:00.004-05:00

This is my 100th post apparently. AND I have had this blog for just over a year. I missed that anniversary though, so so much for commemorating that.

I feel like this calls for making a list of 100 things. That I like, or I hate, or...I don't even know. But that sounds way too ambitious for this blog. Instead I'll have to think of something else to talk about.

The Good:
- I am so thankful that today is a day off. Like you have no idea.
- It seems like we may have been cut a deal with the summer weather. It's been pretty nice out the last few weeks! I would be more than fine if it stayed like this or even cooler from here on out.
- Having a car that gets decent gas mileage makes life a little more carefree.
- Vacation in 8 days. PNW, here I come!

The Bad:
- One of my loans has the worst interest rate ever. I have put hundreds of dollars towards paying it off too, but since most of it goes towards interest it really has only cut down on the principal amount about 250 dollars. Insert expletive here.
- I really miss some of my friends.
- Lately Starbucks has been sucking the life out of me. It's changed a lot since I first started there.
- I'm really nervous about leaving Gabe behind for a whole week. Call me dependent, call me paranoid, call me a nerdy-loser-that-will-never-get-married-or-have-friends...I just hate being apart from him. Plus what if he happened to get really sad too? I would feel like I failed.

The Ugly:
- Gabe's left eye is drippy. I keep wiping it but it keeps tearing up more.
- I had a personal run in with a tick this past week. Details I choose not to share with just anyone. But know that I was thoroughly disgusted.
- I would like to know if my skin will ever pass the 'Oh hey I'm a hormonal teenager' stage. (by the way - I'm not a teenager. So I feel pretty justified about wishing for my skin to move past that time period.)
- This next one could pretty much be included under any of the headings, I realize. But I'll just put it here so this blog has an amazing finish. I was salvaging some old pictures the other day and came across this one. I didn't get a good shot of it at all, but do you realize what it is? A truck limo. Four cabs, with a big old bed behind it. Only in Greeley, CO!

I will pack my bags just to stay in the corner of your heart.

2008-08-19T17:01:00.002-05:00

Lately I have been involved in several situations that have left me wondering if I am a horrible communicator. I know I'm not a blunt person, and I severely dislike being at odds with someone/confrontation...but I am capable of stepping up to the challenge when I absolutely have to. It's just that recently, I have had to wrestle with the question of whether I am the poor communicator, or if the recipient of my words is a poor listener.

Which reminds me of my time living here 'for real' in KC. More wrestling, in this case wondering if I am the most awkward person ever to meet/not trying hard enough to fit in and make it here, or if it really is just that hard to start over and break into other people's social circles. I've said this before, and I'll say it again - I have met a lot of really great people here. They are kind and have great hearts. There is just something tough about taking a friendship past the small talk on Sundays or at work. And I won't lie; sometimes it sounds a whole lot safer and easier and better to just stop trying and succumb to a life of sedentary solitude. Or perhaps go so far as to move away, back to familiarity and significant relationships I have already established.

I'm not writing this for pity. I am not writing this as a guilt trip to others or anything like that. It's just that sometimes, it's good to write my thoughts out. Good for tracking progress, and good for accomplishing some sort of rationale in my thoughts. Plus it's just so trendy to blog. I'm pretty good at making internet friends too (hence my trip to the Northwest in LESS THAN TWO WEEKS!) so this can only aid that area in my life.

Oh, and for my good friends out there, near or far, internet or non-internet...I'm thankful for you.

Hallowhat?

2008-08-12T13:20:00.004-05:00

So I was at the grocery store with a cool one the other night. We were getting brownies. To go with our beer. To follow up on our Chipotle. To be so healthy. So we could watch the Olympians and think about how many calories they have to consume every day, and how many we ourselves consumed in one night. This isn't even the point of the story though.

The point is that, while shopping, we saw large quantities of the colors orange and black. We also saw those colors paired with candy. Lots and lots of it. Including Candy Corns. You guys, this means that they are already getting ready for Halloween! And while I feel that it is much too early to be thinking of such a day, a few additional thoughts regarding Halloween have come up in the last few days.

Number one: I am turning twenty freaking three on Halloween. I think I am still getting used to being twenty two! And I mean, I JUST became legal to drink the beer I previously mentioned, right? How did this happen?

Number two: How much do you want to bet that the most popular costume of this Halloween will be this guy? Psh, I should go as him. Gabe and I both maybe. HA imagine the hilarity of trying to paint his face...but actually, he already paints his own.

Number three: I told a guy the other day that my birthday was on Halloween, and he was seriously weirded out by it. Umm, I'm sorry? SOME PEOPLE have to be born on Halloween!

Number four: I am excited for October to be here because that means fall will be here. Fall is the best.

And Now, a Picture Story

2008-08-03T13:24:00.006-05:00

This

Plus this

Minus remorse

Equals this

Another thing bites the dust.

Please Tell Me

2008-08-02T10:24:00.002-05:00

Does mowing a lawn (both front AND back, guys) count as exercise and a chore all in one?

Because I just did it. And I'm too tired to do anything else.

Rotten Apple

2008-07-25T12:06:00.004-05:00

Well, July has certainly not been the most lucrative blog month for me. Lately, that has been due to the fact that my computer suddenly CRASHED on Friday night. As in, wouldn't even turn on any more. Rotten. Like this.

I took it in to the Apple store on Sunday between work and church. And how inconvenient that the location nearest my house was completely booked - I got to drive 30 minutes-ish to get an appointment. But anyway, the guy who helped me let me know that the logic board was pretty much done for. Whatever that means. I knew it wasn't good though. It required a send off of my Macbook, and the signing of a waiver acknowledging that I may receive my computer back (within seven days, at least) that would contain nothing reminiscent to anything previously on it. Simply put, there was a risk that I would lose everything on my computer. And there was no backing up the information either, seeing as I could not even get the thing to turn on. As I gave my permission for Apple to take my computer and do some serious surgery on it, I felt like 'that person', struck with the cliche of 'Man, this is so silly how much we rely on technology. Sooner or later it's just going to FAIL us! What has this world come to?' (Simultaneously kicking myself in the ass for not backing up things more frequently.)

Anyway. A FedEx man showed up with my computer yesterday morning, and I eagerly opened the box. Pressed the power button, and it turned on like old times. But then I was asked to register it and fill out all these information boxes. Kind of like...when you get a brand. new. computer. My heart kind of sank as I realized that not only had the logic board been replaced, but the hard drive as well. Every picture, every song, every document, every setting on my Macbook - gone. Along with a piece of my heart!

It was as if the person who fixed my computer somehow knew of my loss, however, and they threw in a few 'bonuses' for me. For instance, I now have the Leopard Operating system, which I did not have before. And, the small crack in the plastic body of the computer is no longer there, meaning they gave my Mac a cosmetic face lift as well. I'm not sure I was supposed to receive either of those things for free, but I will take it.

That being said, I am now shopping around for external hard drives, and I recommend that you all get one as well. That is my word of wisdom for everyone I have ever known.

Because this kills me.

2008-07-17T12:06:00.002-05:00

I have watched it at least 50 times I think. And I mean, the kid is ok, so it's acceptable to laugh, right?

Furthermore, did the game of Mousetrap work this well for anyone at any point in time?

Cocoa butter is next to godliness.

2008-07-15T19:34:00.003-05:00

Let's see. An update on my day(s) perhaps?

One thing I don't know that I will ever get used to is the lack of schedule consistency in working a job like Starbucks. Wake up at 4 am today? Sure. Don't come in to work at all tomorrow? Great. That sort of schedule does have its perks. Work is less likely to become mundane, perhaps. Er, well the hours at least. But it also makes it so difficult to ever fall asleep at the right time, or wake up at the right time. I guess that's why they sell coffee - so I can drink it to survive my job.

We have dog flu going around our house. That is, we keep having dogs throw up, and unless we catch them doing it, we don't know which one has it. Gabe has definitely had it in the past two days though. So, I have forced him to eat nothing but rice for the time being. Does that help? I don't know. But it's bland and gentle on the stomach. I am well-prepared for motherhood, I'd say.

I am the worst unpacker ever. I started to put everything away after the trip, but my suitcase still is laying in the middle of my room, a few random clothing items on top of it. Why do I do this?

It is safe to say that I look/feel disgusting 90% of the time lately. Between the aforementioned work schedule (not to mention my line of work - barista and dog-wrangler? dream on, good hair days), lack of social agenda, and sticky, humid weather, the chances of my feeling 'put together' at any given time are slim to none. Which honestly is probably ok. I'm just warning you.

How can you not love his crimp and blondeness?

I'm a Rookie at Living

2008-07-07T17:28:00.003-05:00

I had such a good time in Colorado that I ended up taking a blog sabbatical. That probably does not make you upset, but if it does, I apologize.

I met new friends, visited with old ones, and really had more life restored to me in the time there than I have felt in a long time. It makes me homesick for that state and the precious relationships I have there. And of course the weather was glorious too. Growing up there caused me to totally take it for granted. I always liked it, but I never was amazed by it. I definitely am amazed by it now. Nowhere comes close to Colorado in my life, no matter how hard I try to tell myself otherwise.

There is such a contrast between being on vacation and going back to normal life. While I was away, I played. All day long. Ate good food. Laughed. Danced for hours at a wedding. (with Chelsea Clinton, by the way). Blasted music while in transit between destinations. Stayed up late and woke up not late enough. Stretched every day to fit in as much as I could. Spent time outside. Caught up with people I hadn't seen in months or even years. Made new memories and inside jokes.

Unfortunately, this morning that all came to an end. I went to sleep at 12:30, woke up at 4, and was at work by 5. Work wasn't all that bad, but I would definitely prefer not to be required there. The free lattes are even losing their ability to entice me. Furthermore, it's frustrating to me to feel like I fit and 'belong' in one place, but wonder if I will ever feel at home in another. After a year of wonderment and wandering, it's starting to be difficult to hold out hope for some aspects of my life.

I don't want to live this way forever. Merely tolerating each day and feeling so shut down on the inside. There is an intersection I have been approaching for a while, but I'm not sure which turn I will be making yet, or if I will make one at all. It's become apparent, however, that I am not as healthy as I could/should be, and I probably need to do something about that sooner than later.

It seems like nothing I am typing really makes sense, but that is where I am at right now. Nothing makes sense. And I sort of hate writing about it here. But feel compelled to anyway. Maybe someday I'll be able to read back on it and realize how silly I was to feel so lost.

Several Things

2008-06-25T17:46:00.002-05:00

Yesterday morning, Gabe came pretty much as close as he could to being hit by a car. I had him out in the front yard at about 6 AM, figuring there would be little to no activity going on at that time. He happened to see a rabbit that I hadn't seen, however, and immediately dashed after it. It was clear that he was going to run all the way across the street, and it was as I watched him increase speed and distane away from me that I realized there was a car coming at the very same time. I just felt every bone, muscle, and vessel in my body tense up like they would never decompress again, and a wave of fear washed over me. I desperately called him with increasing volume. The last time I screamed so loud I am pretty sure I woke up the entire neighborhood as I witnessed him running RIGHT in front of the car. He never even flinched or slowed down. The car may or may not have seen him, but they sure didn't brake even a little bit. I don't think I took another breath until I saw him reach the other side of the road, missing the car by inches. And then, the rabbit was gone, and he trotted back over to me like nothing had ever happened.

Gabe is so important to me, if you haven't been able to detect that by now. Apart from the other Parsons, he IS my family. If I lived on my own, all I would have is him. He has been with me through one of the toughest years of my life. His sunny personality brings me the happiest moments of my day. He is God's gift to me. Needless to say, I would have been absolutely devastated had yesterday turned out any differently. God was so gracious to spare Gabe from a potentially fatal accident, and I thank Him continually for timing that event just the way he did. I am often reminded of how oblivious dogs can be to our world (such as the way moving cars can inflict damage) and how much they rely on us. I don't ever want to fail Gabe, because he never fails me from day to day.

Now, in somewhat of a weird transition, I have a new video of Gabe doing another trick. But before you watch it, I would just like to say that it's sooo annoying to hear my own voice! And I don't think it helps that I am talking to a dog in all of these videos. Basically I sound like a blubbering idiot. But it's a cute trick, so I am paying the price.

Finally, I am now sponsoring a little girl name Sandra from Uganda every month. She is only 7 years old, and both of her parents are deceased already. I don't know much else about her yet except that her favorite subject is English. I highly encourage any of you to check out the organization I am helping her through - Food for the Hungry. I look forward to writing letters to her and learning more about her, and hopefully letting her know that even from across the world, she is loved.

Colorado in one day.

2008-06-23T11:05:00.004-05:00

The other day, I ran across the familiar verse of James 1:17: 'Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.' It just made me get to thinking about how many good things I have in my life, and how they are all from His hand. It was good to have that encouragement, as I have been rather discouraged lately. A trip to Colorado on Friday will undoubtedly be full of good things, and I would like to say that I am so much more than ready for it! In fact, my suitcase is already sitting out in my room - I just haven't put anything in it yet. Don't be surprised if you never hear from me again, cause Gabe and I are planning to find a cave and live in it. But if you want to come too, you're allowed.

Want to hear something gross? I have a wart on my finger. At least, I think it is a wart. I've given up on waiting for it to magically disappear, so I am now putting this flesh-eating goo on it in hopes that it will disintegrate. So far, I think it is working. Maybe I will keep you updated on that. Maybe I shouldn't. Maybe it's just too much of a stretch to write a blog when all you have to talk about is a wart.

And finally. I am doing my part to promote this video that I am in! Sarah is in it too. You just have to look closely. The song is just a joke but it was pretty fun filming in a grocery store while customers had the most interesting shopping experience of their lives.

What the Heck!

2008-06-21T22:56:00.000-05:00

Is anyone else perplexed by this?

I Love the New Coldplay

2008-06-20T16:33:00.009-05:00

Whenever I come across a picture on the internet that I like for any number of reasons, I save it to my computer. Why not share them with you?

Basically? Word Vomit.

2008-06-17T21:34:00.006-05:00

A good reason to be a dog trainer: You get to interact with puppies. Today I got to meet Bailey, a Soft-Coated Wheaton Terrier who is 3.5 months old. Dangit, she's adorable! She looks like this:

I can't believe that a year ago, I had just gotten Gabe and he was that small. Like this!

I don't have any other very cool stories right now. I just love puppies, and I hope that I get to work with a million of them over the span of my life. Shanna, I think you need to put up some pictures of your little guy! Even if he is not a bike.

Side note:
I can't wait for Colorado in 9 days.
I can't wait for Canada in 2.5 months.
I can't wait for Alaska in 13 months.

Side side note:
A friend of ours had 14 cavities in her teeth after she started working at a coffee shop. I haven't been to the dentist in 2 years. I pray to the Good Lord that I am blessed with better enamel than that...I can finally get an appointment now that my health insurance is kicking in!

And finally, I miss Hannah and Sarah living across the hall from me.

Good Riddance

2008-06-13T20:23:00.002-05:00

I would just like to say that the process of buying and selling cars is ridic. I am happy and thankful to say that most of this process is now over in my life for the time being, but this is what it consisted of.

Part One: The buy

-Search cars.com for Subaru Foresters in this area.
-Give up.
-Search again.
-Give up.
-Search some more and finally find one worthwhile that is nearby.
-Use a small window of time to drive to Lawrence when Dad is available to test drive it.
-Go home to think.
-Call the dealership to put a hold on the car on the way home because I am too worried it will be sold before I can make an offer.
-Set up an appointment with a mechanic.
-Psych myself up for dealing with a used car salesman.
-Get a ride with Sarah back to Lawrence.
-Deal with the used car salesman.
-Make an offer.
-Buy the car.
-Fill out paperwork.
-Pay them money. A lot of money.
-Drive it home.
-Put in an air freshener. Pronto.

Part two: The sell
-Post my truck on Craigslist.
-Post my truck on Facebook marketplace.
-Post my truck on Cars.com.
-Put signs in the windows.
-Wash the truck inside and out.
-Follow up on every lead I get.
-Lend the car to a coworker who needs an extra car while I am trying to sell it.
-Maneuver ways to get the truck back when there is a potential test drive.
-Get mad when the test drive falls through.
-Lower the price.
-Follow up on more leads.
-Find a buyer
-Buyer does not have full amount in cash, but comes to see it from four hours away on a Sunday, therefore not having access to a bank or the desire to make a separate trip.
-Work out a deal with the buyer that allows me to hold on to the title until his check clears.
-Sell them the truck.
-Wait for the check to clear.
-Send the title in the mail.
-Email the new owner to let him know.

Part three: The extras
-Stress about getting all the right paperwork together.
-Take the Forester's title to be inspected since it is from out of state.
-Feel inadequate as a 20-something girl when it comes to these things.
-Pay them ten dollars and roll merrily on my way.
-Stress again about getting all the right paperwork together.
-Take the Forester to be registered.
-Pay them a bunch more money and then roll merrily on my way again.
-Still feel inadequate as a 20-something girl when it comes to these things.
-Wait 4-6 weeks for the new title to arrive.
-Put the new plate on my car.

***All while paying 4 dollars a gallon for gas.***

I don't want to do this again any time soon. And hopefully I won't have to.

Hey, Sigur Ros? Was. A.Ma.Zing.

Gabe ate a roll of Scotch Tape this morning. He's not as amazing as his video after all, I guess.

Gabe Improved

2008-06-09T14:57:00.003-05:00

So I thought we should prove that Gabe CAN do some things. In his own special way.

The Merry Month of June

2008-06-03T14:35:00.003-05:00

Today I applied for a credit card. Just for emergencies, nothing more. And, well, to build credit too I guess. Not only did the teller I spoke to fill out the online application for me - she also gave me a present.

'Ok, I submitted the application and they should be sending you something in the mail to confirm soon.'

'Thank you.'

'You're welcome. Oh, and let me get your chair.'

'My...chair?'

'Yes, for signing up with us today, you get a free chair! Let me go grab one for you.'

'I uh...thank you.'

It's like this. Except it's hot yellow. Jealous?

Also. I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that I put a 'clean cotton' air freshener in my Forester. Not only that, I bought a pack of three in that scent. Well, it started off smelling clean I guess...but now it is more akin to the smell of urine. How does THAT happen? Contaminated cotton!

Finally, I have been invited to go to Canada for a few days in the fall. With 25 other people. That I have technically never met in person. I kind of want to go. What do you think?

Happy Birthday to Leej!

2008-05-30T13:22:00.006-05:00

Tyler turns three today!

I think this picture of him wearing my mom's glasses looks like Chicken Little.

Also, I cannot wait for his 'Cars' birthday party tonight. Happy birthday, Chicken Little Leej!

Why Did I Open my Usually Closed Mouth?

2008-05-28T09:42:00.002-05:00

Now that I am more familiar with customers who frequent my Starbucks and I am becoming a little more confident at what I do, I have been trying to come out of my shell and make small conversations with them. The rest of the baristas can do it, so why not me too?

It is tough enough to try and appear confident and/or awake in the morning with people who may or may not be receptive to your efforts. But after two such attempts, I am reconsidering conversing all together.

The first conversation took place on Mother's Day.

Me: Hey, are you getting your Venti soy no water chai today?
Customer: Yes, I am. Great memory!
Me: Oh, I am slowly remembering people's drinks. I got lucky this time I guess.
Customer: Did you call your mom today?
Me: Well, I live with her. So I guess that's even better. But I haven't seen her yet.
Customer: Ah, I see.
Me: What about you? Did you call your mom?
Customer: No, she's in heaven. But that's ok. (and he walks away).

GAH! WHY???

The second conversation took place yesterday with another regular.

Customer: Hey, Rebecca (got to love being called by your full name when you never even go by it)
Me: Hey! How are you doing?
Customer: Oh, pretty good.
Me: Which size of latte do you want today?
Customer: Tall.
Me: Ok, we'll get that right out to you. (feeling the need to further our interaction since he did not walk away, I scraped for something to talk about) Did you have a nice day off yesterday? (Memorial Day)
Customer: Oh, they've given me a nice two week break now. (my face (and heart) crumbles) I worked for Sprint.
Me: Ohh...I'm really sorry.

And then, thankfully one of the other baristas jumped in to save me.

But seriously? Does this kind of thing happen to other people too, or am I just Captainess Awkward?